KEY POINTS:
The All Blacks are so desperate to end two decades of World Cup failure they are learning French in order to ease the pressure at next year's tournament, the Guardian newspaper claims.
"The All Black management are using their European tour as a dress rehearsal for the 2007 competition and are keen to ensure their players are au fait with French culture, conversation and cuisine," it reported yesterday.
The newspaper went on to offer a spoof Kiwi-French dictionary for the players, starting with:
Please remove your thumb from my eye.
Veuillez extraire votre pouce de mon oeil, s'il vous plait
I'm from Invercargill, the arsehole of the world.
Je viens d'Invercargill, le trou du cul du monde.
You look like a sheila with that long hair.
Vous ressemblez une fille avec ces longs cheveux.
This is for the Rainbow Warrior, Jean-Baptiste.
Ca c'est pour le Rainbow Warrior, Jean-Baptiste.
That's a nice sheep.
C'est un beau mouton.
All Black manager Darren Shand was quoted as saying an effort would be made to teach players French. "We want to make sure our guys can cope with spending 53 days in France in an environment which is completely different to, say, New Plymouth."
The newspaper said the All Blacks were too insular in 2003, when the squad was based in the largely rugby-free zone of Melbourne.
"A lot of it is down to attitude," Shand said. "You can bring elements of home to France but you've also got to take your surroundings into account."
- NZPA
