Winston Aldworth runs through the best and worst from the sporting weekend.
LOSERS: Men
The more time passes, the more it looks like David Cunliffe might have been on to something. The former Labour leader began his exit from political life in 2014 by apologising for beinga man.
Almost a decade later, many blokes felt a twitch of the Cunliffes over the furore around Spanish football boss Luis Rubiales’ ill-advised and unpermitted kiss on the lips of star player Jenni Hermoso.
El presidente Rubiales thrust his face into Hermoso’s for a kiss as the Spaniards celebrated winning the Women’s World Cup. She did not consent to the kiss, and has been very clear about the fact ever since.
Spanish players - men and women - rallied in her support, only for the Spanish football federation to threaten legal action against Hermoso, with Rubiales saying it was all a bit of “false feminism”. How nice of him to explain true feminism to any women following the show.
In the end, it took Fifa’s intervention to show Rubiales the way to the door. The world governing body suspended him while they investigate his actions.
The more things change, the more they stay the same. When Cunliffe issued his apology - less than a decade ago - Fifa was headed by Sepp Blatter, a man whose vision for developing the women’s game was to encourage female players to wear tighter shorts.
Women’s sport - and men’s sport - is better off when these creeps move on.
LOSER: Any opposition player unfortunate enough to be pinned in a ruck at the RWC with Scott Barrett charging in
Yesterday’s decision to not to ban the Biggest Barrett will have briefly calmed anxious All Blacks fans, but the message to big tight forwards flying shoulder-first into prone opposition in rucks at the World Cup is clear: fill your boots, lads!
WINNER: Naming your team early
The All Blacks like to keep their selection strategies close to their chest, even when it’s pretty obvious who’s going to take the field. In recent years, they’ve typically waited until as late as they are allowed to announce their match-day 23. All while most fans, pundits and (crucially) opposition coaches could jot down a pretty close approximation of the All Blacks starting line-up and bench.
At the World Cup, you can expect to see All Blacks sides named around 48 hours ahead of kickoff, close to the minimum amount of time World Rugby allows. Such fourth-dimensional chess presumably limits the opposition’s chance to do a quick Google search on this bloke Ardie Savea to see what he brings to the game.
In fact, All Blacks management get annoyed when media find out who’s going to be in the team.
Meanwhile, the Springboks camp can’t wait to tell the world who’s in their starting line-up, and whether it’ll be six forwards on the bench, seven or - what the hell - eight. Ahead of a weekend match, they’ll happily announce the side on a Monday. Ask nicely enough and the Boks would probably email you the game plan: smash the breakdown; smash the set piece; box kick plenty; run when it’s on.
Call it Big World Champion Energy.
WINNER: The Rugby World Cup
Big sporting tournaments thrive on uncertainty... and hometown favourites. As much as getting thumped by the Springboks at Twickenham annoyed All Blacks supporters, it’s a shot in the arm for the Rugby World Cup. Likewise, Fiji dumping the English and Samoa going close against Ireland.
France carved up two-time champions Australia - no update from Eddie Jones yet on which journalist is responsible for that result. Momentum like that will give the tournament real legs with the French fans. There’s a vibrant and passionate rugby public in France and the tournament will be better for having them drive their team along. At least that’s what we’ll tell ourselves if they go all Malcolm Marx over the All Blacks in the opening match.
LOSERS: The Warriors
Tohu Harris rests his battered body for this weekend’s mostly dead rubber against the Dolphins. But if the Warriors captain’s injury keeps him out of the first week of finals footy seven days later, alarm bells should ring.
“But one individual isn’t going to change things; every single person has to buy into whatever the team’s goals are.”
His words were true then, and they still are now. At the heart of the Warriors’ success in 2023 is a hardworking pack, mostly on the right side of the gainline and always bigger than the sum of its parts.
But if there’s one part of that pack they wouldn’t want to miss, it’s captain Harris.
WINNER: Liam Lawson
The Kiwi ace would have had simple goals put in front of him before his Formula One debut in the Dutch Grand Prix: don’t crash; finish the race. Maybe - just maybe - see if there’s a chance to pass someone. He ticked all the boxes and more.
The 21-year-old from Pukekohe finished 13th in tough conditions - he dealt with rain, sunshine and crashes. He overtook the Ferrari of Charles Leclerc and finished higher than Yuki Tsunoda, his AlphaTauri teammate. He matched the best placing of Daniel Ricciardo, the man he was filling in for at short notice, in the same car.
The playing field in Formula One is famously one of the least level in world sport. Lawson has as good a shot at getting a permanent ride as any non-billionaire’s kid.
Winston Aldworth is NZME’s Head of Sport, and has been a journalist since 1999.