The World's Cup: US result barely generates a ripple

South Africa take on the United States during the 2015 Rugby World Cup. Photo / Getty Images

Steve Deane scours global media for an offbeat look at rugby's biggest show.

MOVING ON

England has put its ignominious exit behind it in traditional fashion, shifting its sporting focus to a national football team that won a World Cup in 1966 and very little since. A Daily Mirror story highlights concern over the state of a Wembley pitch abused of late not only by the ruffians of RWC2015, but also the Miami Dolphins and New York Jets. "Ground staff at the national stadium are working extra hours to ensure the pitch is in its best possible condition for England, as they prepare to play in front of 75,000 fans," reports the Mirror. England will need the best surface possible when they attempt to subdue the footballing might of ... Estonia - no gimme on current national sporting form.

YOU BEAUTIES

Joy unconstrained in Romania following the stirring comeback victory over Canada. "The beauty of this victory, however, comes from how it was obtained," gushed Gazeta Sporturilor, one of the country's 32 national newspapers. "Oaks were down by 15-0, but had a sensational return . Tricolorii have been slow, Canadians gave them space in the first half, but after 53 minutes, Romania took the first step toward revival. Thus, with two touchdowns and three conversions 's Macovei 's Vlaicu , "oaks" came in World Cup history by the most beautiful comeback." The 17-15 win means Romania keeps intact a record of having achieved at least a draw in every World Cup, and can still qualify automatically for Japan 2019 if they beat Italy in their final match.

BLAME CANADA

Reaction in Canada to a campaign that promised plenty but delivered only a series of dispiriting narrow defeats has been understandably glum. "We have to stop learning. We can't keep learning all the time," said the usually stoic Kieran Crowley of Mill Bay, reported British Columbia's Times Colonist. "We gotta get some bloody wins somewhere." The Colonist's columnist was equally frustrated. "What a difference four years makes. Canada returned home from the 2011 World Cup in New Zealand with a win and a tie, flowing beards and as the new-found darlings of Canadian sport," wrote Cleve Dheensaw. "There won't be such a post-World Cup afterglow this time."

EAGLES CRASH LANDED

America's 64-0 pantsing by the Springboks caught the attention of CNN, which for some reason produced a match report focusing on Brian Habana's equalling of Jonah Lonu's Cup try-scoring record. Elsewhere in the US, the result barely generated a ripple. A search of the New York Times for Eagles-related news did turn up a gem of a yarn about an Albanian crane operator who caused an international diplomatic incident by flying a drone bearing a double-headed black Albanian eagle over a football match between Albania and Serbia in Belgrade. The match was abandoned as a riot ensued and Ismail Morina fled the country. A national hero back home in Albania, Morina lives in constant fear of Serbian reprisals and carries a loaded pistol 24/7. Great stuff. Back to the rugby.

FAN MAIL

stevedeane@a*******.org has kindly emailed a few tips for future editions of The World's Cup. "Open one of the drawers in your desk. Place your right hand partially into the drawer then using your left slam the drawer closed repeatedly. Keep doing this till you have sufficiently destroyed the bones in your hand. You might be wondering at this point "hey i can still type with my left", and you'd be correct. However your left hand will also be needed to finish preparing you for future rugby articles.

"With a large long tipped 500ml hypodermic syringe, slowly draw a mixture of ..."

It all gets a bit grim after that, but you get the picture. 'Steve' seemed a little upset about last week's post on Gordon D'Arcy.