KEY POINTS:
My Official title in the Herald on Sunday, New Zealand Herald online and Sky Sport while I'm in France is "colour reporter". However Paris and I are now in what I term a long relationship - three weeks - and are becoming bored with each other.
Yes it is the city of love, tongue wrestling everywhere - which to be honest makes me slightly uncomfortable - the wine is abundant, the food mouthwatering, but quite frankly I came here for my first, real love - rugby.
Unfortunately, apart from the bright lights, adverts and banners flying around the city, the only rugby hype is on match days, which means I'm left high and dry for the rest of the week.
Hell, I can only afford to buy one pair of Prada boots and one pair of Jimmy Choos. The two cost just under $3000, which means I'm now officially banning myself from Parisian shops.
While I'm very fond of my new acquisitions it isn't rugby. And most of the women in this country agree with me. France's game against Namibia this week was watched by 12 million people, huge viewer numbers for the sport in this country. Apparently, on average this year, a third of the audience is female. Even more staggering is the fact that 50 per cent of women watching television when the All Blacks played Italy were training their eyes in on our boys in their tight black tops.
So far in my impromptu questioning of French ladies, Daniel Carter is tops, with Joe Rokocoko also high in the fantasy stakes.
It's no wonder women are going gaga over the players. French lock Sebastian Chabal has deliberately created a look modelled on Rasputin. Being swept away by someone with a filthy beard, crazed eyes, and long greasy hair is not my idea of romance, but when he threatened to trim the fluff around his mouth this week it made headlines in the French papers - female sub-editors finding their own special way of trying to convince him to leave it as it is. Then we have his first five Frederic Michelak, who came out with a Ben Lummis hairdo this week; that was hip in South Auckland three years ago.
And in a world exclusive, I will reveal that Dan Carter showed me his GHD hair straighteners last year, and spent five minutes discussing their merits.
Being metrosexual isn't an uncommon trait in rugby these days. Here in Paris it is just the done deal. Remember this is the city of the rugby club Stade Francais, who play in pink. Their president, Max Guazini, is openly gay and used, as a marketing tool, the very famous 'les dieux du stade' - a semi-nude, erotic calendar of players - to get more females to his games. As part of my investigations into this brazen form of marketing, and as a woman, I can honestly say it is rather special. Now that's what I call colour.