It's not enough for us, mate. Please keep this stuff coming ...
PE No 1 I
So Quade Cooper is backing the Warriors in the NRL final. make up your mind mate, do you want to be Public Enemy No 1, or not?
PE No 1 II
Here's Stu Wilson explaining why, when push comes to shove, PE No 1 will always be out of favour on this side of the Tasman.
"Anyone that touches the crown jewel [Richie McCaw] ... well, you start pissing around like Quade Cooper has done and you have to accept the consequences in this country.
"If he keeps it up he can expect raspberries for the whole tournament. If he doesn't know that and the Australian Rugby Union doesn't know that, they're dumber than I thought they were. You just don't piss with the crown jewel. Not over here, not in our backyard."
Rooting is legal
We're a classy nation. Here's bar owner Leo Molloy explaining why he won't release CCTV footage of Mike Tindall and the mystery blonde: "Our position is that if it's not a crime, then we won't release the footage. Rooting isn't a crime in New Zealand - I'm not sure about England, but it's not in New Zealand."
Hear that Telecom? Rooting isn't a crime.
Harbour halfwits I
Having a beer at a Britomart bar overlooking the ports, a question naturally comes to the mind of any footy fan: what halfwits kept Auckland from building the world's greatest rugby stadium on the city's waterfront?
Harbour halfwits II
Part of the answer, of course, is: Ports of Auckland. The waterside authority never fancied losing its significant real estate.
Now they're opening their doors to the excess crowd when party central overflows, allowing the citizenry to stand on Captain Cook Wharf. Gee thanks. Seems cruel really, taunting us with a trip to what should be the site of the world's greatest footy ground.
Interesting to note, however, that as a zombie apocalypse movie played out on the streets of Auckland on RWC opening night, the PoA staffers were already testing out Captain Cook Wharf's capacity to host a shindig. With the people of Auckland locked out, they had a big screen set up for family and friends and a bouncy castle for the kiddies.
Harbour heroes
CupShorts' surf lifesaving source tells us the wetsuited brigade have been busy fishing drunks and brawlers out of the Waitemata Harbour. Up to six inflatable rescue boats are on duty around the wharves on game nights keeping people safe until well into the morning.
Bagpipes? No thanks
Labour MPs Iain Lees-Galloway and Jacinda Ardern are calling upon the RWC organisers to overturn a ban on bagpipes at grounds.
"If we can have the haka, then surely the Scots should be allowed a bit of skirt and skirl," Mr Lees-Galloway said in a desperate bid to win over the crucial tone-deaf vote.
Ms Ardern knows what she likes and she likes hairy-kneed Jocks with no sense of shame: "Men in kilts? What's not to like?"
Quite a lot, Jacinda ..
The bell tolls
Our resident SBW-hater is in wordy mood; he's been reading up on Sir Robert Walpole (1676-1745), regarded as the first Prime Minister of Great Britain. "They may ring their bells now," said Walpole, as his people cheered the announcement of war with Spain in a tenuous parallel with the code conversion of an offloading league second-rower. "But they will soon be wringing their hands."
Tweet of the Week
England hooker Dylan Hartley enjoys the comforts of his former home. "Plastic toilet seats are a nice touch on a cold morning."
