Alarming news
Spotted: Richard Loe at the Viaduct on Saturday WEARING A PINK SHIRT. What's the world coming to?
Mouthguard
Andy Haden's thoughts on mouthguard-gate: "I used to put my lineout calls on the mouthguard for the hookers to see," says the Diver of Cardiff. "Because they were pretty thick, some of those hookers."
TSD I
Sadly, the Tindall Stag-Do has departed our shores. They leave us with fond memories of dwarf-tossing, ball-tampering and boob-plunging - so just your average English sports team on tour then.
Chris Ashton's ghost-written column in the Daily Mail was notably missing last week after the winger's involvement in the incident with a Dunedin hotel worker. The column was scratched after the RFU couldn't agree with the Mail about what details could be left in and what should be barred from public consumption.
TSD II
Great news for the TSD! On their way home, they could take a break in Florida where a Palm Beach politician wants to bring back dwarf-tossing. Republican Representative Ritch Workman says there are a lot of short people needing work. "In this economy, or any economy, why would we want to prevent people from getting gainful employment?"
TSD III
Bad news for the TSD! Members of Little People of America are against the dwarf-tossing law change. David Dodge, 1.3m tall, says: "The possibility of getting paralysed is high. And then to be used as an object for people's amusement is very degrading."
A bunch of born-to-rule toffs in English rugger kit using people as objects for amusement and degrading them?
Never ...TSD IV
The man at the centre of the TSD - Mike Tindall himself - can now get on with the quiet life of a royal spouse: attending functions, waving to the peasants and breaking out in a cold sweat everytime the wife picks up a copy of the Sun.
To demonstrate that he's put his bad behaviour behind him, Tindall did what any self-respecting new hubby would do - he bought a Harley-Davidson.
Bad news for the TSD: he won't be able to ride his Harley until January, when his three-year drink-driving ban expires.
TSD V
Daily Telegraph writer Brendan Gallagher tweets on the TSD: "Did any team bring less to the World Cup party than England? Miserable soulless rugby, no smiles, boorish behaviour and attitude."
TSD VI
His team may be unloved and he leaves these shores with his reputation as a coach on shaky ground, but let's remember Martin Johnson as a helluva player. Said Pinetree: "There's nothing surer than he would have been an All Black."
Cory I
Speaking of drink: We've heard from punters who saw Cory Jane and Israel Dagg out on the town.
"We were in Macs Bar when Cory and Israel came in," one reader tells us.
"We asked for a signature from Cory and he could barely sign his own name. We then saw him walking around looking dazed and confused. Real disappointing to see the most drunk guys in the bar were All Blacks during the Rugby World Cup."
Cory II
Another reader writes: "I was there and what a night it was!
"Dagg kept coming up to my girlfriend offering her a flower he was carrying round. And half the night Jane was walking round with one Jandal on.
"Anyways, that's all I have got to report on this matter."
Cory III
Which reminds us of a joke. A Wellington rugby player walks into a bar wearing one Jandal.
The barman asks: "Did you lose a Jandal?"
"Nah bro," says the player. "I found one!"
Snoop Boyo
From the WTF file. Rapper Snoop Dogg declares himself a fan of Welsh rugby. He says on Twitter: "Heard the Welsh prefer rugby - hook me up with a Cardiff rugby shirt, I'm there on Saturday!"
Tweeting twit
Tweet of the week from Dai Henwood: "Shocking behaviour by Cory Jane, I can't believe he went out on the Shore!"
Exceptional
A CupShorts journo left his tape recorder at the top table after an English press conference last week. When the interviews - some of which involved Jonny Wilkinson's psycho-babble - were over, the machine was left running and captured a conversation between a French journo and an English hack.
The Frenchman asks for an explanation of the English RFU's policy on selecting players based in France.
"Basically," says the Pom. "You must play in the English Premiership in order to be selected for the England squad, unless there are 'exceptional circumstances'.
"Exceptional circumstances? Such as blond hair ..."
"Yes - blond hair, blue eyes, you talk a lot of bollocks and you play for Toulon."
The Big Man
Question of the day: Have you seen Kobus Wiese on the telly? He's frickin huge. He was on that panel show last week sitting opposite Jeremy Paul. At one point, the former Wallaby frontrower - no tiddler himself - was leaning back and looking at Wiese with an expression that said: "F*** me, this guy is huuuuuge."
Unwelcome stats
From the "thanks mate" file: TV3 mouth Howard Dobson proudly produced a timely statistic to end Tuesday night's Cup Talk panel programme: since 1903 no All Black team has kicked a drop goal to win a test match when behind.
Interesting enough, but probably not what panellist Andrew Merhtens, who was siting a few feet away, wanted brought up in light of his missed drop goals in the 1995 RWC final.
Gee, thanks Dobbo.
Betting men
Spotted in the bookies: Ma'a Nonu and Zac Guildford having a wee flutter on the horses.
In defence of Quade
Matt Giteau explains the rationale behind Quade Cooper moving to the back and Digby Ioane stepping up when there's tackling to be done: "It's not so much hiding Quade, it's more putting your best defenders up in the line."
Logically, then, it's about putting your worst defenders away from the line. Kind of like hiding Quade.
England players were questioned by police as soon as they landed at Christchurch Airport.