Richie Mo'unga kicked a drop goal 12 minutes into the Super Rugby Pacific season. Photo / Photosport
OPINION
We’re 101 days away from the start of the Rugby World Cup and Tim Brightwell has found seven more reasons for worry.
Give it a rest
Observation: Selection policy buzzword bingo strikes again
Analysis: What do you do when a country is sick of phrases like “rest and rotation”and “enforced rest”? Start talking about how the growing list of injuries top players are incurring in Super Rugby will be a good thing because they’ll be “well rested”. Joe Moody, arguably the most senior prop in contention for a starting spot at the World Cup, will miss the rest of Super Rugby Pasifika. Stephen Perofeta, in the mix in the No 10/No 15 roulette, started on the bench after a long layoff from a shoulder injury. Most championship-winning teams like to get their best lineup out on the park at some point before a meaningful tournament – but maybe this coaching staff knows something that we don’t.
Worry-O-Meter: “Expiry dates are just a marketing trick by the ‘Big Chicken’ monopoly to shift product.” 2/10
Belated return
Observation: The Wayne Smith announcement is a canary in the coalmine about the All Blacks coaching panel.
Analysis: Wayne Smith is returning to the All Blacks in a unique, new role - after the World Cup. It’ll be nice to have one of the best coaches we’ve ever produced on board while Scott Robertson sets about building his side next year. But wouldn’t it be nice to see him in there now, sprinkling magic dust a few months out from a World Cup? It worked OK for the Black Ferns last year. How much trouble must this side be in if Putararu’s favourite son doesn’t want to step in and help win on the biggest stage.
Worry-O-Meter: “Tell us about this three-year gap in your CV.” 3/10
Observation: The Crusaders front row finishing school has dried up.
Analysis: With Moody, George Bower and other starting props out, Scott Robertson was forced to call in John Afoa to bolster the propping stocks. Afoa’s throwback performance aside, this isn’t the script we’re used to for the Crusaders. What you’d usually see at this point in the season would be a young prop out of Tasman get the call up and then go on a Cinderella-like run that lands a spot in the ABs wider squad for the Rugby Championship, à la Fletcher Newell.
If Fozzy doesn’t have the luxury of picking the next prop from the Jason Ryan-Crusaders conveyor belt, where can he go to restock his front row?
Worry-O-Meter: “The check engine light always comes on in wet weather.” 4/10
Caned it
Observation: The Canes have hit a late-season slump.
Analysis: Hidden in the shadow of Mark Telea’s four-try night was how the Hurricanes are crumbling at the pointy end of the season. A team led by All Blacks stalwarts like Ardie Savea and Jordie Barrett and with a bolter like Cam Roigard in the ranks were expected to make a push deep into the playoffs, especially after resting key players in a banana-skin loss to the Drua. Instead, they’ve managed two losses to playoff rivals. Savea and Barrett are both “cometh the hour, cometh the man”-type players. Well, now is the hour.
Worry-O-Meter: “But officer, the guy at the shop in Bali assured me I’d be able to bring this through Customs.” 5/10
Coming unstuck
Observation: Another week, another stop-gap solution at No 6.
Analysis: The barren wasteland which is the All Black No 6 jersey has fans turning their eyes to the hills, as a familiar frame rides out of the sunset, a potential saviour: Luke “Concrete Shoulders” Jacobson. He ticks a lot of boxes for the traditional Fozzie No 6: Playing out of preferred position (check); History of conceding meaningful penalties (check); And no consistent time in the All Blacks between World Cups (check).
For Jacobson, the difference between homegrown hero and going home early in the World Cup is a poorly timed ruck-clearance near the tryline. Given that the All Blacks have picked up 50 per cent more cards than our opponents since 2012, perhaps we shouldn’t tempt fate.
Worry-O-Meter: Riding in a packed elevator. It gets stuck between floors. Someone sneezes. 7/10
Coming unstuck
Observation: We’ve just lost the one guy that holds our backline together.
Analysis: When David Havili fell to a hamstring injury in the 66th minute of the Crusaders-Reds match on Saturday, the All Blacks coaching staff lost their midfield security blanket. He’s the sort of glue player that Fozzie loves to put on the pitch. When you’ve got players playing out of position, new combinations that haven’t had meaningful minutes together and rookies galore, you need glue guys. In a season where there is serious conversation about a “geriatric” bolter (his words, not mine) like Bryce Heem making the side, you need glue guys to hold it all together.
Worry-O-Meter: “Don’t worry, of course my passport is up to date.” 7/10
Flop drop
Observation: None of the incumbent All Blacks have been nailing drop goals under pressure.
Analysis: Few sights in rugby are as reassuring as an in-form All Blacks first five-eighths stepping back into the pocket, taking a deep pass and slotting a drop goal. It’s the first blossom in spring, the light shining through after a storm, a cold beer on a hot summer day. It’s a sign of hope. The earlier in a season we see it, the better. DC did it. A much younger Beauden Barrett did it. Foxy did it back in 1987.
So, when did one of our All Blacks backs last hit a drop goal in competitive play? The first round of Super Rugby Pasifika: Richie Mo’unga 12 minutes into the opening game. That’s 3188 minutes of competitive rugby ago. But that’s okay, at the World Cup we’re unlikely to find ourselves in butt-clenchingly tight games desperate for three points, right? Right?
Worry-O-Meter Boss invites you to a meeting. Casually mentions you’re welcome to bring a support person. 9/10