KEY POINTS:
Romantic attachment to the language of Voltaire and a pragmatic attachment to tourist dollars have joined together in a scheme to help the 450,000 foreigners expected to invade France for the Rugby World Cup.
Foreign Minister Bernard Kouchner, Health and Sports Minister Roselyne Bachelot and French Rugby Federation supremo Bernard Lapasset have launched a "Je Parle Rugby" internet, television, poster and T-shirt campaign in which shops, restaurants, cafes and clubs will put out the welcome mat for rugby fans heading for the nine French cities hosting World Cup matches.
The initiative includes a handbook of 250 phrases in French which the honchos admit is a sign of France's eagerness to nurture its language in the globalised anglophone ocean.
But the choice of sentences is also revealing, showing how far tourist phrase books have evolved since the days when all a visitor needed to command was "I'll have the 1947 Montrachet" and "please gift-wrap this necklace and have it sent to my hotel".
"I don't understand. I don't speak French. Can you say that again?" the guide kicks off in rather helpless fashion, before seguing to some standard scenarios, At the Airport, In the Metro, At the Hotel and so on, including the predictable In-the-Restaurant whinge, "This isn't cooked enough."
It's when "ovalie" (the art of the oval ball) looms that things start to go a little off the plot, notably in what is called "the third halftime," or the post-match partying.
"We won. We have lost. We are going to celebrate. How about a beer? It's my round." chirps the guide. "What do you want to drink? I am very happy."
It also helpfully addresses the bipolar ride that comes from a few too many. "Where's the toilet? I have a headache. I have a hangover. I don't feel well," the visitor can learn. "What time is it?"
The Je Parle Rugby (I Speak Rugby) campaign also includes video presentations by 12 internationals who play rugby in France, including Australia's Nathan Hines and, naturally, the Franco-Kiwi Tony Marsh. In short clips entitled "Be Like Them Learn French", each player explains the language and French culture.
