Richard Cockerill of England confronts Norm Hewitt of New Zealand during the Haka before an All Blacks tour match at Old Trafford in Manchester, England. Photo / Getty Images.
Richard Cockerill of England confronts Norm Hewitt of New Zealand during the Haka before an All Blacks tour match at Old Trafford in Manchester, England. Photo / Getty Images.
The best 'New Zealand' moment of the eighth Rugby World Cup so far? That would have to be Wales beating England.
That is not being provocative for the sake of it. My phone went crazy on that sunny Sunday morning with texts from celebrating friends. Unsocial media was rejoicing - if Twitter could dance, it would have.
Yes, Wales is coached by a New Zealander, Warren Gatland, we've all got a bit of time for, but the principal reason for the joy wasn't a sudden affection for the leek-eaters, but the buzz that came with seeing England downtrodden on their home turf.
It might be a German word, but it was pure schadenfreude. World Rugby's Brett Gosper and the Herald's Gregor Paul might want England to advance out of pool play, but they're very much in the minority here.
Take a straw poll in any pub in country that isn't Speakers Corner, Browns Bay, and the overwhelming majority would be tickled white to see England dumped out of their own tournament.
The essential question is: Why have we seemingly suddenly developed this almost pathological hatred for all things England rugby?
You look at the great sporting rivalries around the world and there is usually one or two easily explained flashpoints that have created and sustained the hatred.
Celtic v Rangers: Sectarian differences, proximity and overwhelming success.
Red Sox v Yankees: Intercity rivalry, the sale of Babe Ruth and subsequent Yankees' dominance.
Boca Juniors v River Plate: Class war and proximity.
Pakistan v India: Religion and disputed border.
But England and the All Blacks is a very modern antipathy and it is difficult to explain away.
It's not a true rivalry in the sense that both teams are on an equal footing. After 40 matches, the All Blacks have lost only seven and drawn once. Their 81.25 per cent winning record against England is higher than their overall record.
It's not as if we share a disputed border. We are literally oceans apart.
We both separate church from state and worship in similar congregations.
Unlike Australia, we were not set up as a penal colony and our forebears were not subject to brutish, alienating conditions.
True, we sacrificed a lot to cover their butts during a couple of 'situations' - circa 1914 and 1939 - and were rewarded by them upping sticks when continental Europe starting fluttering its eyelids but, come on, England stopped buying our butter in 1977. That was the time to get angry.
Like thousands of New Zealanders, I made my way to London as part of an OE. I retain fond, if hazy, memories of the place. The pubs were great, the nights were late, the work was fine, the people were mostly agreeable and the weather disagreeable. Much like here then. Under different circumstances, I could have imagined making a happy life in Albion.
But last year at Twickenham, for one of the first times I felt uncomfortable being a New Zealander in London. I was sufficiently surprised to write about it.
It didn't used to be this way. First South Africa and then Australia were our greatest rugby foes. Now it would not be a surprise if the majority of fans here would prefer either to win this World Cup ahead of England.
Perhaps this is due to the regular Sanzar contact diluting the Southern Hemisphere rivalries, but the Yankees and Red Sox play each other at least 18 times a year and it hasn't lessened the hate.
Perhaps it's the internet's fault. Where once northern tours were a thing of romantic mystery, now every burp and cough is covered and we can read in close to real time just how much contempt many in England have for some of things we hold dear - like Richie McCaw, and the haka. In turn, they read of our disdain for the way they play rugby and think, "arrogant tossers".
(In fact, "arrogant" seems to be a common theme: we both arrogantly assume the other to be arrogant, often with no evidence other than our own arrogance. If Steve Hansen doesn't like rolling mauls, it's because he's arrogant; if Chris Robshaw doesn't take a kick for goal, it's arrogant. The word has been flicked around willy-nilly to the point where it's nothing more than a default setting.)
A colleague believes it might be partly based out of fear: England, with its numbers and financial resources, should be the undisputed giants of the game, so the longer we can belittle them and mock their struggles the better.
Perhaps it's just a fleeting thing. An elongated moment in time. But I doubt it.
Whatever the case, Australia v England this Sunday morning promises to one of the most-watched British events in New Zealand television history.
Come on the, er, Wallabies...?
GIVE 'EM A TASTE OF KIWI...
If Wales' win at Twickenham will always be remembered for Chris Robshaw's ill-fated lineout drive, it is worth reminding the men in red about a not-so-ill fated lineout dive.
Apart from the cynical conclusion, there's a couple of eye-popping moments in this classic footage. First, look how massive the ground seems when all the forwards hunt as a pack, rather than fan out across the defensive line. Second, how good was that try-saving Graham Mourie tackle?
I watched in amazement during the first half at Twickenham as Wales' backline looked like they been shoehorned into a DeLorean armed with a flux capacitor. They stood so deep it was like watching the 1987 All Blacks. Time and again England's backline would rush up and trap them so far behind the advantage line the forwards had to use orienteering charts to get them back to the breakdown.
Insanity, I thought. But lo and behold, deep into the second half, England's rush started looking ragged, no doubt because of the kilometres they'd had to cover in the first three-quarters of the match, and Wales started finding space around the outside, leading to the all-time great try to trailing halfback Gareth Davies.
World Rugby's boss still hasn't learned to think before he tweets. Obnoxious Ocker Brett Gosper was shot down in flames by a fellow tweeter after he responded to those decrying Japan having to play two Tier One teams in four days with this:
Fortunately, most sensible people saw through that like a brand-new windscreen, including this keen follower of Tier 2 rugby:
Sorry, but this is a dumb comment. How many teams play 2 top 10 sides within 4 days? Japan have an awful schedule.https://t.co/fqcN6nmkfh
The World Cup draw is a farce. They had four years to improve it after Samoa were spectacularly shafted in 2011 but it's even worse. Japan haven't even worn the brunt of it this time around. How can anybody in their right mind claim it is fair that Fiji gets hosts England in a highly charged opener, then face a fresh Australia five days later, then meet Wales on their home ground the following week? The scheduler was clearly drunk.
This is the same man that once tweeted it would be a great shame if England didn't make it out of pool play before the tournament even started.
With great power comes great social media responsibility. Start showing some.
I've heard plenty of people deplore the way Eliota Fuimaono-Sapolu delivers his message, but a lot fewer people successfully deconstruct it. From L'Equipe.
This is a RWC edition, but I couldn't deny you the opportunity to read this obituary on the one and only Lorenzo Pietro "Yogi" Berra.
MY LAST $10
Honestly, if you've got $10 left, the last person you want to be giving it to is me.
Last week: I backed Japan with a 15.5+ points start against Scotland at $1.87 for a potential collect of $18.70. At halftime I was laughing all the way to the bank. Unfortunately they had half to go.
This week: Jeepers I need this to come in. I'm backing the tackling and kicking skills of Namibia no less to hold off, to a degree, a Tongan onslaught. That's Namibia with a 23.5-points start at $1.80 for a cool $18 collect. The fightback starts here.
Total spent: $140 Total collected: $102.90
MAILBAG
A terrific insight from a former principal and rugby coach on the dark side that is emerging in schoolboy rugby.
As a former secondary school principal and a rugby coach in the secondary schools rugby environment for over 20 years I have observed the emergence of elitism in 1st XV rugby. There always has been a small group of schools which have been pre-eminent in the large school competitions but in the main school rugby was an egalitarian activity with some teams emerging for periods of time while others regrouped and emerged again in a cycle. However the advent of trends so clearly highlighted in your article will ultimately lead to a breakdown of rugby in smaller and coeducational schooling. In this regard it is great to see school rugby being televised and crowd attendance at college games suggests it is a marketable activity.
But we are well down the road to making it a school promotional activity and the consequential recruitment of players has led to some very questionable ethics at work. Smaller schools will inevitably be scalped for students with sports ability thereby undermining the ability of smaller schools to compete. In this environment there is clearly going to be a demand for the best to play with the best but when it becomes most objectionable is when boys are approached after a year in the 1st XV at the local school to have a finishing year in a larger school. While there are rules about this now are they vigorously enforced? You quite rightly ask the question. Year 14 students should be ineligible if there is to be a competition rule that has any meaning about age. A disturbing aspect is that it seems to be more frequent in schools financially able to administer high-powered sports programmes suggesting that sponsorship is now a primary and underpinning factor in schools rugby.
These patterns of sport participation in schools match those in the wider community but carry risks for the future of school sport as well - some of which you rightly highlighted in your article.
Digby Prosser
Write to me at dylan.cleaver@nzherald.co.nz. Correspondence may be edited for errors and abridged.
