KEY POINTS:
Wander around any of the French World Cup hosting cities and it won't be long before you bump into a giant Dan Carter staring out of a shop window sporting a hairdo a couple of style changes ago.
That's slightly disconcerting, then you glance to his right and
find Rico Gear alongside him. That's the same Rico Gear who is not at the World Cup.
But at least Carter can wear his hair how he wants. Imagine if he was Tongan.
There are times you might briefly think the International Rugby Board don't get a fair shake, that everyone's out to tag them. Then they do something which reminds you why they deserve a severe bollocking at regular intervals in public places.
Not content with telling the Tongans they had to wash the green out of their hair before playing England in that all-or-nothing Pool A decider in Paris, and get rid of temporary shamrock tattoos, they told them a five-figure financial gift from a Montpellier businessman had to be returned.
What is it with these people?
Several Tongan players decided to repay the support of an Irish bookmaker by going green for the most important game in their rugby history. Oh no you don't, warned the IRB, who said the Tongans "would appear normally and have been reminded of the importance of the match".
And as for that money to help out one of those countries battling to get a fair financial shake, that might breach sponsorship agreements.
In 1995, many of the French squad grew facial hair. Some got out the peroxide bottle. Remember the IRB ordering them not to be smart arses? No, because they didn't.
What if the All Blacks chose to collectively grow beards? Picture the IRB ringing up manager Darren Shand.
"This just won't do. Get the razors out pronto."
The IRB would be told where to put their shaving foam.
Teams doing something unusual is, well, not unusual. The Crusaders regularly grow facial hair on their Super 14 trips to South Africa. They might look decidedly dodgy but it's a team bonding thing and beloved of sporting teams the world over. Some look complete dorks but that's not the point.
Graham Henry wore a goatee beard on the All Blacks tour to Britain and Ireland last year. It might not have been his greatest look but it didn't matter.
Okay, green Tongans would not have been a look to launch a major fashion statement, but if they wanted to that's their choice.
There's a serious side to this.
Talk to anyone involved with the lesser rugby nations at the cup and it's not long before the world's inhabited by the haves and have nots crop up.
Money gifted meant training camps before the cup. Tonga's hotel headquarters for the last three weeks bore no relation to the facilities for England, the All Blacks and the other heavyweights.
Apparently some of the fulltime Tongan professionals had to club together to help out the financially-strapped island-based teammates. Something's wrong here.
A fair playing field? Oh look, a giant porker just flew past my window.
