Host the ultimate Rugby World Cup party

Combine the weird new craze for adult colouring-in with slightly risque body painting. Photo / Brett Phibbs

By the time you read this the All Blacks should be in the semifinals. Now it's time to plan your party for the big game and, all going well, the Cup final. Now we just need the All Blacks to play their part.

Show your colours

Wearing expensive replica shirts is so passe. $150 for a black T-shirt? Pah! Combine the weird new craze for adult colouring-in with slightly risque body painting. Tubs of black paint from artsupplies.co.nz are $12 a pop.

Or you could really go to town and get the professionals to do it for you at bodyfx.co.nz. You can also get red or gold paint.

Seating

Buy a mini-grandstand. It'll probably seat about eight and help recreate the stadium atmosphere, albeit in a low-rent way. Better still, grab a few planks of wood and build a rickety one for the more authentic grassroots experience.

Given the inherent danger with that we should probably responsibly suggest getting some basic plastic chairs from DIY stores for under $12.

Stylish screens

Could there be a better excuse to buy a new TV? You can get high-definition 40" screens for under $900, but if you have a bit more cash there is a whiz-bang Samsung 85"
TV - a snip at $19,888 from Harvey Norman.

Switch to Sky's "sports mosaic" split-screen option to see a tiny view from a long distance. Almost like being in the stadium.From the bar. Mango, lychees, feijoa vodka and lime. Liquidise and pour into a martini glass.

It's sweet like victory and a bit summery. If we're in the semis, hopefully we're playing Wales. Beer is the national drink of Wales, says Wikipedia, so that's easy.

If it's Australia in the final, it must be Fosters 'cos that's what they drink, right? Oh, and have some fruit juice and coffee on the go, since it is 4am.

From the kitchen

A tough one - is it breakfast or snacks before bed? Either way, chicken wings with dijon mustard, honey, chilli flakes and paprika are a winner and a nod to the defeated quarter-finalists France (fingers crossed).

Rugby remix

You will either be in the mood for celebration or in desperate need of consolation, so make sure you have music for every occasion. If your team wins - James Brown: I Feel Good. If your team loses - REM: It's the End of the World.

FOR THE NON-BELIEVERS

• Sleep in: The beauty of this World Cup is the timing. Stay in bed.

• Rugby-free tv: Dial up a My Sky diet of reality TV shows, or binge-watch your favourite dramas.

• Go shopping: Most of the remaining games are early on weekends so it's a great time to miss the morning crowds and go to the mall.

• Go on holiday: Most of the world doesn't care about the game so grab a late deal to a rugby-free country.