Dylan Cleaver: The right cause, wrong venue, wrong opponent

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It is never nice bagging a good cause, but it's hard to remember a time when there has been less anticipation about the start of the international season than there is about the All Blacks' opener next week.

In the biggest of rugby years we're starting a match of such limited appeal that little more than 10,000 tickets had been pre-sold.

Right cause, wrong time of day, wrong venue, wrong opposition.

Using the All Blacks to raise money for the earthquake victims is a no-brainer. With so many players having connections to the Canterbury area, a match for the cause is an appropriate tribute.

But Fiji? Cast aside any thoughts about the dubious merits of sporting association with a country under the yoke of military dictatorship and think only about Fiji's abject performances against the All Blacks here.

Most recent to distant, the scores go: 91-0 (Albany, 2005), 68-18 (Wellington, 2002), 71-5 (Albany, 1997), 74-13 (Christchurch, 1987 RWC) and 33-0 (Auckland, 1980).

Yes, that's a combined scoreline of 337-36. Put another way, if the All Blacks don't win by a score of 67.4-7.2 or better, they've not lived up to expectations.

The only danger for the All Blacks is injury, fears that might have been heightened on noticing that Fiji had three players yellow-carded and two players sent off in their recent Pacific Nations Cup loss to Japan.

A resurrection of the old President's XV match would have been a more attractive proposition and a more useful exercise for the coaches.

As for Carisbrook itself, this has turned into the longest goodbye. How many farewells does a ground need? Even Cardiff Arms Park received a more summary execution than Dunedin's monument to thrift. With Forsyth Barr Stadium already looking a picture standing tall on the north side of the city, never has Carisbrook seemed so dark and desolate.

The NZRU, desperate to host the game in the South Island, would have been better served taking it to Invercargill or Nelson, somewhere they could have at least filled the stadium with grateful patrons.

As the ITM Cup kicked off on Thursday, Carisbrook seemed a very lonely and unwelcoming place, which it usually is for night rugby.

Described too kindly as a venerable old lady, Carisbrook more resembles a venereal old hag.

But at least a 2.30pm Saturday afternoon kickoff might have shown the ground, scene of some of New Zealand's great moments in sport, in a slightly more flattering light.

Full marks to the Waikato Rugby Union in its tireless attempts to woo more people to the stadium.

This year all Waikato home games will be themed.

Marketing manager Paul Shattock said: "To encourage new people to come to the games this year, we are turning the games into larger events that will provide our customers with an experience they wouldn't get from ... watching the game on TV."

Just to prove you can't make this stuff up, their first home game of the year, against Taranaki on July 21, is the udderly brilliant "Dairy Industry game". They should milk this idea for all it's worth.