KEY POINTS:
I post this from the TGV express train on my way back to Paris for the final time. This trip was meant to signal the beginning of the 'Big Push'. Now it feels like a damp squib.
Thousands of fleeing Australians and New Zealanders have clogged up flights bound for southern skies so it appears that escape from the Bastille won't be taking place until the weekend, though my next missive, all going to plan, will come from London where there are friends to be found and tales to be told.
They'll all want to know "what went wrong?", as if I can offer them any insight they haven't already read.
But I'll attempt to endarken them. As the Guinness flows my tales from France will become embellished and moments of trivia will take on great significance. Then, as the evening moves from maudlin to merriment, we'll discover there are worse things in life than losing at rugby. In case that moment takes longer than we want to arrive, I'll go armed with...
FIVE REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL THE ALL BLACKS LOST.
5. We will never, ever have to see those grey jerseys again.
As a fashion statement they were an ugly cross between John Clarke in his Fred Dagg days and a silver-suited disco dancer. They were simply atrocious and clashed with every combination of colours possible. Seeing the All Blacks lose is one thing; seeing them lose dressed like freaks is quite another.
4. 'Rest and reconditioning' will now enter the lexicon of one of the seminal Kiwi jokes.
For example, when passing the burned out hulk of a car stolen and abandoned at the side of the road, someone will exclaim, "no worries, all she needs is a bit of rest and reconditioning". Or, watching the horse you tipped come last by 20 lengths: "Obviously needed a bit more rest and reconditioning."
3. The more we practice losing, surely the better we'll become at it.
New Zealanders have never been very good at accepting defeat in rugby, believing we have a God-given right to win every game we play. That's five times in a row now that we've lost a game at a World Cup and you know what they say - practice makes perfect.
2. At least the All Blacks will be nicely rested for the NPC semifinals.
Let's face it, the returning All Blacks who still have provinces with a stake in the NPC can hardly claim fatigue as an excuse. And correct me if I'm wrong, but they are contracted to provinces aren't they? However, it's fair to say that one or two might struggle for selection.
1. The 'rocks stars' hit town.
Sport radio's big guns - Tony Veitch, Murray Deaker and Willie Lose - arrived in Cardiff en masse to cover the last three weeks of the tournament after giving the pool matches a bypass. If the fact they came for one game doesn't put a smile on your face, rest assured it sent some of the other media who'd been there for the long haul into paroxysms of laughter. As a colleague said: "It just shows there's an upside to everything."
