In a more sensible world only a win over the All Blacks in Melbourne would save Eddie Jones’ job as coach of the Wallabies.
Miracles occur in the strangest of places, but right now the TAB offering $5.75 for an Australian win looks fair and reasonable to me, whichwould make it three losses from three for Jones.
But even another loss in Dunedin won’t see him axed. It’s so late in the day the Aussie officials who sacked Dave Rennie to clear the way for Jones can now only grit their teeth and hope.
Jones’ appointment as Australia’s coach in January, only a month after he’d been sacked by England, was always a case of starry-eyed hope triumphing over common sense.
England dumped him because they’d lost seven of their last 11 tests under Jones. He’d also imposed a deathly, boringly constrained style that even English rugby fans only loved when their side was winning.
Jones’ return to Australia has been marked by selections involving plenty of ducking and diving.
As just one weird example, Quade Cooper wasn’t the answer at first five at the 2015 World Cup. Only on Planet Eddie (population: one) is Cooper the possible answer in 2023.
Now Cooper’s been replaced by Carter Gordon, who makes his first test start against an in-form All Blacks side in front of a crowd that will top 80,000 people.
To help pile the pressure on Gordon, who is a very good footballer, Jones has suggested the 22-year-old offers a mix of the silky running skills of Wallabies great Stephen Larkham and the tough-as-nails defence of Springbok hardman Butch James.
There is no question Jones has been a very astute coach.
He took the 2003 Wallabies to the final of the World Cup in Sydney, where England, playing what Aussie fans derided as “kick and clap” rugby, beat them. In 2019, Jones coached England to the World Cup final in Japan, beating the All Blacks 19-7 in a bruising semifinal. But South Africa whipped England 32-12 in the final.
Nobody takes two teams to cup finals without selecting and coaching skills.
But with Jones, you feel that the circus may have moved on. In today’s rugby, where players are immersed in the game for most of their waking moments, knowing when, in Steve Hansen’s words, “a bloke might need a bit of a cuddle” from a coach is important.
Jones has never been famous for his man-management skills.
As far back as 2004 Roger Gould, working as an assistant coach with the Wallabies, found he “couldn’t believe the way [Jones] talked to people in front of other people. There are some things you just can’t do. You can’t take away their dignity”.
When Jones was appointed to the England team in 2015, after coaching Japan to a sensational pool victory over South Africa at the World Cup, former Wallaby Phil Kearns’ thoughts at the time would prove eerily prophetic.
“He’s a very astute coach,” said Kearns, “but there is a point where the fanatical work ethic goes too far. I’ve heard a couple of guys in the Japan team say they would never play under him again, because they couldn’t keep up with the workload, it was so intense. It’ll be interesting to see over time how the Pommies go.”
The answer was very well at first, then really badly.
Even in a sport as physical and macho on the field as rugby is, the day of the fist-in-palm-pounding, screaming-skull coach has passed its use-by date.
All Blacks coaches haven’t had fire and brimstone pre-match team talks since Tana Umaga suggested to Graham Henry 18 years ago they were perhaps more for the coach than the players.
As a World Cup-winning All Black once told me: “As a professional player you don’t need emotion from a coach as much as you need a clear, detailed explanation of what your role is on the field. A test match automatically fires you up anyway. Everyone knowing what they have to do is what wins the game.”
Jones, as many of his players and staff have testified, can be a difficult man when the going gets tough.
Of all the people in the Australian camp, nobody needs a Wallabies victory more in Melbourne than Eddie Jones.