Definition
A game played with an oval ball for 80 minutes, by 15 players on each side.
The aim
To hold on to the ball and score as many points as possible by carrying, passing, kicking and grounding the ball over the tryline. The team in possession of the ball runs towards the tryline, passing the ball from one player to another. The opposing team tries to stop them by whatever means necessary. This highly organised violence consists mainly of "tackling" - knocking over or dragging down an opposing player who is carrying the ball.
Common terminology:
* Conversion: Not a league player who has switched to rugby. A conversion refers to kicking the ball between the posts and over the crossbar after a try is scored. (Two points.)
*Penalty kick: If a side commits a bad enough infringement, the opposition can kick at goal from where the infringement occurred. A kick over the crossbar earns three points. England and South Africa very good at these.
*Try: Curiously named (wouldn't a "get" be more accurate?). Scored when a player touches the ball on the ground in the in-goal area (Five points.)
* Drop goal: Scored when a player kicks the ball from hand over the opposition's goal, but the ball must touch the ground between being dropped and kicked. New Zealand no good at these (Three points.)
*Breakdown: The period immediately after a tackle and the ensuing melee. Also what the head coach has after the cameras have been switched off.
*Dummy pass:A trick when the ball carrier moves as if to pass the ball to a teammate, but then continues to run with it himself, leaving the opposing player looking like a dummy. . . or a dropkick.
* Hospital pass: A pass to a teammate a nanosecond before he is buried under an avalanche of bodies, causing him to require hospital treatment.
* Lineout: When the ball goes out of play, it is thrown back between two opposing groups of players. The biggest players normally get the ball and dominate the game. ?Scrum:The forwards from each team bind together and push against each other until they fall over. A time for players to catch their breath. Kind of a grotesque cross between ballroom dancing and all-in wrestling.
*Cauliflower ears: Caused by sticking your head too many times into a scrum. If you want to really impress your friends, try it in French: "Oreilles en choux-fleur".
Key rules
*When the ball-carrier is tackled the player must pass or release the ball, even if he is lying under a pile of bodies with his arms pinned.
* The ball can only be passed laterally or backwards, never forward. This is known as a forward pass or a throw forward. Without this rule the game would be like netball. With an egg shaped ball. And full body contact.
* Knock-on: This is when a player loses possession of the ball and it goes forward, resulting in a scrum to the opposition.
*Substitution: Each team can use seven substitute players to replace injured players. Some players feign injury to get fresh people on the field.
*Offside: This rule prohibits players from gaining an advantage from being too far forward. But it's so complex that even the players scarcely understand it. You are offside when the referee says you are.
* A yellow card: Shown to a player who has been cautioned for bad behaviour. The player is sent to the sin bin for at least 10 minutes. This is similar to "time out" for children.
* A red card: Really badly behaved players are shown a red card and ordered from the field, without being replaced. This has to be for a very grave offence, such as attempted murder.
Player positions
Forwards
Front row: 1. Loosehead prop; 2. Hooker; 3. Tighthead prop. Big burly guys who push hard in scrums and like the physical stuff. No 2 throws the ball in from lineouts. Strong silent types.
Middle row: 4 and 5. Locks.The tallest players, bred to jump and catch the ball at lineouts and kickoffs. In the scrum behind the fatties. Often have weird ears (see cauliflower ears). Usually dour, with the exception of Ali Williams.
Loose forwards: 6. Blindside flanker; 7.Openside flanker; 8. No. 8. These fellows lift locks in lineouts. They are quick players who get to the tackle early and try to win loose ball. Glory boys in the forwards.
Backs
9. Halfback: Lurks behind the scrum to get the ball out to the pretty boy backs and maintain movement. 10. First five-eighths: Five-eighths of what? Who knows? The little general and tactician, he decides whether to kick or pass or run. Controls the game. Why isn't he captain? 12. Second five-eighths: Fills the gap between the first-five and the centre. Runs hard, tackles hard. Useful if he can kick well. 13.Centre: Passes the ball to the wingers. Might score himself if he doesn't. 11. and 14. Wings: Sprinters, try-scorers and general show-offs. Good at sidestepping, except for Jonah Lomu who preferred to run over the top of people. 15. Fullback: The last line of defence. Has to wait for ages to catch high balls as the opposing team rushes towards him with the aim of burying him. Nerves of steel, slight suicidal tendency.
Captain:Any position. Leads by example. Must be okay at making speeches.
* Coach: Selects the team and should not grimace too much when the cameras are on him.
*Referee: Needs to be able to dominate big groups of very large men and be used to being unpopular. Is helped by two assistant referees, one on each of the sidelines.
* Television Match Official (TMO): Sits in the stand and checks the ref's dodgy decisions by video replays. Should take as long as humanly possible to come to his decision.
Who to watch
* Dan Carter, All Blacks
Nothing seems to stick to him, including mud. A favourite with female fans after his exploits modelling undies made him a pin-up. Add to that the pre-tournament publicity round when he was filmed playing with toddlers in a sandpit. Awww...
* Sonny Bill Williams, All Blacks
He's got the name and definitely looks the part with his 1.91m frame and tattoos. Bit of a wild card and desperate to prove himself to his detractors. Will try hard.
* Mike Tindall, England
Tindall's wedding to the Queen's granddaughter Zara Phillips came close on the heels of that other royal couple-Kate and William. Tindall chewed gum outside the chapel, William didn't. Watch for signs of Zara in the grandstands. Only she could love the captain's eight-times-busted hooter.
*Quade Cooper, Australia
New Zealand-born Cooper needs to watch his back after kneeing our Richie McCaw in the head during the Wallabies' Tri-Nations final victory. No more underhand Aussie tactics, Quade.
* James O'Connor, Australia
Baby-faced Wallaby winger O'Connor looks like Justin Bieber but he's built like a brick one. He loves to party, so much so that he failed to turn up for the World Cup squad announcement after a night on the town in Sydney. Dropped for the Tri-Nations decider against the All Blacks, he's been penitent since and will be eager to make up lost ground.
* Brian O'Driscoll, Ireland
Swashbuckling Irish captain O'Driscoll is no leprechaun. This could be the last chance for one of the best players in the world to star on the World Cup stage, so he'll be leading from the front. He's another one who's had past run-ins with Richie McCaw.Will he shout Richie a Guinness when it's all over?
* Alexis Palisson, France
Drew the wrath of Maori by posing for a glossy magazine with his face covered in a fake moko. Other photos for gay magazine Tetu showed him dancing, another fake tattoo on his back, brandishing a Maori spear. Palisson will celebrate his 24th birthday in New Zealand on Friday.
* Sergio Parisse, Andrea Masi and Gonzale Canale, Italy
Three of five hunky Italian rugby players chosen by Italian fashion brand Dolce & Gabbana to model tight undies in 2008. There's even an accompanying dressing room video. Go online and have a look.
