KEY POINTS:
It's an oldie but a goodie, so let's get it out of the way first.
John Eales, Wallaby World Cup-winning skipper, allround nice guy, alltime great footballer, how did you get that nickname, Nobody, as in nobody's perfect? Er, actually he didn't.
"Nobody ever called me that." Come again?
It was an end-of-year Wallaby tour in the mid 1990s, and players were handing out $5 joke presents to each other. Winger Mitch Hardy bought a book for Eales about a character who was known as Mr Perfect.
"It was Campo's [David Campese's] last trip, and he said, 'Oh, that's ridiculous. Nobody's perfect.' Someone in the team told someone in the press, the article was misinterpreted to say 'that's what his teammates call him'."
And from there the legend grew, and he's stuck with it.
You're left with the feeling he'd rather Campese hadn't opened his gob, then again there's quite a few people down the years wishing the great winger had kept his mouth zipped more often.
So that's that sorted. Even if it's not accurate, it's appropriate. Eales was captain, lineout leaper, goalkicker. He did remarkable deeds on the field and was the heart of the Wallabies for years.
Eales was in Auckland this week as guest speaker at a dinner to mark the 10th anniversary of the opening of North Harbour Stadium.
This was a few days after watching his Reds slammed 92-3 by the Bulls in Pretoria. A record Super rugby loss. Painful viewing for a proud Queenslander? You bet.
"Not good," Eales said. "But you have those games, you hope it's not 92-3, but then we led for a while," he quipped of the Reds being in front after two minutes.
Amid the doom and gloom merchants predicting a grim World Cup for Australia this year, Eales offers some hope.
"Most people in Australia would say they don't feel we're in an ideal position heading into the World Cup, but they'll still be very confident they will be able to challenge when the times comes.
"If the team comes through with a good Tri-Nations this year they are going to be confident a month out from the World Cup. They have got enough talent without a doubt to put in a good challenge."
And what of the All Blacks? He expects them to be the best-prepared team in France, with the most stable squad. But ...
"That doesn't put the trophy in the hands of Richie McCaw. No matter how good the preparation you've still got to go out and perform. The thing about this New Zealand side that marks it out is an element of humility. They realise the job isn't done. To me, that's the scariest aspect. Everyone else thinks they've won the World Cup. They know they haven't."
Eales' last game of rugby was against the All Blacks at Telstra Stadium in 2001 - you remember, that game when burly Toutai Kefu barged through in the final minute to give the Wallabies a 29-26 win. It was Eales' 86th test, 55th as captain.
He hasn't looked back. He'll never play another game of footy. Why? Simple.
"Rugby's a contact sport and that's light terminology. Once you've played at the top level your mind doesn't know any other way. Your mind would be cashing cheques your body's unable to pay. Play overseas? It's great for some, but I wouldn't have had my heart in it."
He values a piece of advice from another former Wallaby skipper, Andrew Slack: "'You've got to love what you do, not what you did.' That resonated with how I felt."
The 36-year-old lives in Sydney with wife Lara and children Elijah, 8, Sophia, 6, and Lily, 4. He has his own company, Mettle, which specialises in corporate training and development. He's enjoying life outside the sports environment. It's a good life. Not perfect maybe, but not far off.
