Prowling wolves in Baa-Baas clothing

By CHRIS HEWETT

TWICKENHAM - Not so very long ago, the rugby-loving inhabitants of Barbaria were a roguish bunch who could run like the wind, sell dummies by the dozen and drink like fish ... usually while serenading their opponents with a few good-natured choruses of Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

Then came professionalism, and mean-mindedness of the pay-for-play ethic.

Yesterday's end-of-season showpiece at Twickenham provided conclusive proof that oval-ball Corinthianism is dead and buried.

The Barbarians of the 21st century have a streak of purest Attila about them.

From the point of view of the England players, all of whom were scheduled to fly to Canada today for the three-test tour of North America, it would have been less exhausting - and probably a whole lot safer - to have spent their Sunday afternoon in a Roman galley.

The youngsters in Kyran Bracken's side scarcely knew what hit them in the opening half-hour, when Jolly Jonah Lomu and his colleagues scored virtually at will on their way to a 43-29 win.

If Lomu had never been born, Roald Dahl would have invented him.

When England, shorn of their Lions contingent, did get close enough to the Barbarians to start a fight, they generally finished a distant second. Trevor Woodman, the Gloucester prop, will not forget Braam van Straaten in a hurry, thanks to the Tysonesque power of the South African's retaliatory punch shortly before the interval. Later in the game, another forward, Andy Hazell, caught a big one from Angus Gardiner as a scrum disintegrated into an interesting little free-for-all. Exhibition stuff it was not.

Under the circumstances, Bracken's boys did well to grow up as quickly as they did. Having reached the break nine points adrift after recovering from an early 24-8 deficit, they smartened up their act still further and worked their way to within a score as the clock ticked past the 70-minute mark.

Sadly for them, the Big Bloke was still galloping around the paddock. Lomu's trademark rumble up the left took three England defenders out of commission, and, when the Baa-Baas opted for a straight spin to the far side of the field, the Springbok prop Adrian Garvey lumbered over the wrap-up try.

The physicality of the contest blew a hole the size of Asia in the England ranks, and left four players - centres Ben Johnston and Josh Lewsey, hooker Mark Regan, and lock Simon Shaw - in considerable distress. In addition, the bloodshed measured nine on the Peckinpah Scale.

Quite why the England management craved this game on the eve of a summer tour will forever remain a mystery.

There again, these Baa-Baas were not at Twickenham for a day out.

Points mean prizes in this day and age, and the financial bonus riding on a clean sweep of Wales, Scotland and England was enough to ensure buckets of sweat and a mountain of muscle.

Four of the invitation squad - Garry Pagel, Ian Jones, Jeremy Guscott and the marvellous Gary Teichmann - had the additional motivation of making their final appearances on the professional stage, and all of them contributed handsomely.

Guscott, who had not laced up a pair of boots for six months or more, entered the fray rather earlier than he would have liked, as a 13th-minute blood replacement for Jason Little. Within three minutes, he had Rolls-Royced his way onto the scoresheet by latching onto Howard's clever midfield chip.

When Lomu ran clean through Paul Sampson from a quick line-out, the Baa-Baas were 16 points clear and very nearly out of sight. But Sampson made instant amends by capitalising on Leon Lloyd's clean break past the lumbering Craig Dowd, and England then went try for try with the visitors until Garvey drew a line under proceedings two minutes into injury time.

Michael Stephenson cancelled out Pat Lam's 55th-minute try with a twinkle-toed scamper that seriously embarrassed Geordan Murphy, the Irish full-back. Ten minutes later, Ben Johnston ran straight and true to the right corner to minimise the damage caused by Teichmann's close-range finish.

Entertaining? Yes, very. But the fact that several English foot soldiers sank to the turf in exhaustion at the final whistle suggests that next weekend's test in Toronto against the up-and-at-'em Canadians will be no vicarage tea party.

Barbarian fixtures, once the very essence of "After you, Claude" civility, can no longer be counted an easy option.

* Lomu was yesterday called into the New Zealand team at the London sevens tournament to replace Dallas Seymour, who has an injured back. Captain Karl Te Nana has a damaged hamstring.

- INDEPENDENT