Supershorts: Justice for Kevvie!

The hardest tackle of all: Kangaroo Greg Bird gets to grips with Greg Eastwood, of New Zealand, last weekend at Eden Park. Photo / Dean Purcell

Do adjust your sets. Clearly there's something wrong with the images the nation saw on Sunday morning that seemed to suggest Keven Mealamu was the kind of bloke who would headbutt an England rugby player on the back of his noggin. As eminent jurist Steve Hansen, QC, put it: "If he says he didn't do it, he didn't do it." It's an interesting point, m'learned colleague, but the evidence of our eyes tends to suggest he did do it, no matter what he says.

Justice for Kevvie II

There was clearly something wrong with the New Zealand commentary team's sets. As the slow motion replay of Mealamu emphatically not headbutting Lewis Moody rolled on, Grant Nisbett, Justin Marshall and Tony Johnson fell inexplicably silent.

Justice for Kevvie III

The worst thing about the All Black management's insistence upon defending Mealamu's indefensible headbutt? It'll fuel another decade of Stephen Jones' rants about the All Blacks being arrogant thugs who play to their own rulebook.

Would it have killed Graham Henry and Co to simply front up and say "Kev was stupid. Headbutting the back of an opponent's skull has no place in our game. We're very disappointed in him. He's out of the tour"? Apparently so ...

Numbers game

Pakistani cricketer Zulqarnain Haider has no problem fronting up. He's bolted to the UK after receiving death threats on his mobile from match-fixers. Putting aside for a moment the question of how the match-fixers got his mobile number, it's worth reflecting upon the figures from a domestic one-day game that Zulqarnain says might possibly have been rigged.

When the Lahore Eagles played National Bank in March last year, the Eagles were bowled out for 122 in 40.3 overs. National Bank won the match hitting their 123 off just 6.1 overs, with Salman Butt making 92 off 25 balls. The Pakistan Cricket Board investigated the match and found no evidence of foul play. Hmm, thanks for clearing that up, PCB ...

This charming man

The race to win the title of World's Most Obnoxious Sportsperson in 2010 is going down to the wire, but Herschelle Gibbs has the inside lane.

In his new book, To the Point, the former South African batsman tells us how He ripped out his wife's hair during an argument while driving drunk. "The more I thought about it," he writes, "the more I realised that it just wasn't the right time for me to be married." He relayed this news to her via text message.

This charming man II

If he had trouble relating to his wife, Gibbs found our transtasman cousins more in tune with his way of thinking.

"Australian women, I can tell you, are not afraid to speak their minds and make it crystal-clear what they're after," writes the scribe. "Especially, as we found out, if you're an international sportsman. There's none of this, 'Am I reading the signals correctly here?' crap. Nope, the message is hand-delivered to you in capital letters."

The secret of his Pantsman-esque success? "I guess you could say I am charming. And, as I said, chicks dig it."

Charming, indeed.

Blowing the whistle

If you thought the Canberra Raiders were dangerous on the booze, you should see the referees in German soccer. Six black-shirted whistle-blowers face sentences of up to 14 months after inserting a 1.5 litre bottle into a drunk colleague at a training camp. In Joel Monaghan style, they filmed the prank.

Said the victim, who slept the sleep of the completely wasted through the whole event: "I thought they were my friends."

Good week for...

Roberto Baggio

He of the rat's-tail and the legendary World Cup penalty shootout miss has been honoured for his charity work with a special award bestowed by Nobel Peace Prize laureates.

Bad week for...

Yoan Gouffran

The Bordeaux striker has been diagnosed by doctors as being allergic to grass. His manager Jean Tigana summed things up: "Clearly, this is not ideal." No more diving for him then.

The number: One

The number of people charged after the crowd trouble at Eden Park on Saturday.