Mike Greenaway: Jake, here's some free advice

At the beginning of Jake White's losing streak the barbs were relatively blunt.

He was "Jake the Snake" after France ended the Boks' unbeaten home run under him in June - "Snake" because he had promised to reward form in the Super 14 but then shunned new Super 14 stars in favour of the same old carthorses that had done well for him in his first two years in charge, but subsequently had been palpably out of form.

"Joke White" was his next nickname following the 49-0 defeat in Brisbane.

White knows a thing or two about nicknames.

He was a school teacher for 15 years and so would have come across his next moniker, "Jake the Cake" (in South African slang, if you are a "cake" you are a fool).

White's continuing promises to give opportunities to form players only for him to cling white-knuckled to the same out-of-form desperadoes earned him his next insult, "Jake the Fake", and then there was "Jake Shite", if you will excuse the vernacular ... The sponsors of the Boks are South African fuel manufacturers Sasol, and one caller to a radio station suggested Jake take away the "S" and look in the mirror.

Yes, it all gets quite predictable but far and away the biggest insult to Jake White came unwittingly from his employers, the South African Rugby Union.

President Oregan Hoskins is a super guy, a truly well-meaning fellow who did not see the tragi-comedy in his attempt to put together a rescue team of former Springbok coaches to assist White.

"We back Jake but we recognise that he needs a hand right now," said Hoskins.

"And that is why we have called on the expertise of Ian McIntosh, Andre Markgraaff, Carel du Plessis, Nick Mallett, Harry Viljoen and Rudolf Straeuli."

That is basically every Bok coach since 1994 apart from '95 World Cup-winning coach Kitch Christie, who was only spared the ignominy of this bizarre assembly of lost souls because he is dead!

Hoskins, in his haste, failed to digest that not one of the above served out his contract. They were either fired or forced into resignation. Is this not the ultimate indictment on the turbulent world of South African rugby?

Even Christie, less than a year after winning the World Cup, was fired, and get this, it was done while he was in a hospital bed suffering from a terminal illness.

Christie and McIntosh are the only post-isolation coaches to have left the job with their dignity intact.

They were dictatorially sacked by the infamous and impatient Louis Luyt and both enjoyed public support at the time of their sudden "retirement".

Mac was fired because he did not win the '94 series in New Zealand, but he might have done if he had been allowed to select his own team rather than be given a team picked by a committee of 15 selectors who were not even on tour.

Mac would tell dinner audiences of the day he was awarded the DCM or "Don't Come Monday" by Luyt.

Markgraaff, a political animal reared by Luyt, succeeded Christie and he got off on the wrong foot when he stupidly sacked Francois Pienaar - the most recognisable sportsman in the country - because he was too big for his boots.

Markgraaff lost any remaining support when, in 1996, he coached the Boks to their first home-series loss to New Zealand.

Markgraaff met his coaching end when a disaffected player conned him into making racist comments that were being secretly taped. They were not secret for long ...

Carel du Plessis, a truly magnificent wing in his playing days, was infamously offered Markgraaff's job after he had sat next to Luyt on a flight and had unwittingly won over Luyt with his pie-in-the-sky views on how rugby should be played.

Du Plessis' flight of fancy crash-landed when his Boks bumbled to defeat against a poor Lions team in 1997.

Du Plessis had never coached any team at any level whatsoever before being given the Bok job. It showed.

The same could not be said for Mallett, a rugga bugga who had been through the mill as a player and a coach and had covered himself with glory. He won the Tri-Nations in 1998, and 17 consecutive tests, before his anti-Afrikaans sentiments resulted in Sarfu bosses concocting his dismissal on the flimsy grounds that he had brought the union into disrepute by criticising ticket prices for tests. That involved a blonde with big boobs, but that is another story ... !

Viljoen, a flamboyant multi-millionaire businessman, had a lackadaisical crack at the Boks before realising that there was no return to be made on a poorly performing Bok team.

Which brought us to Rudolf Straeuli, 50-point defeats and naked players in pits.

All in all, this made for a motley bunch of would-be rescuers of Jake White, who, with gun-to-his-head diplomacy, said he "welcomed the gathering of wise heads".

But one by one the former coaches made their apologies and the idea disintegrated, but for White the insult will forever remain.

* Mike Greenaway is chief rugby writer at the Natal Mercury in Durban.