Greg Tourelle: Aussies are just a bad joke

COMMENT

SYDNEY - What do you call 15 Australians watching the World Cup final?

Answer: The Wallabies.

Now this is not Kiwi gloating. It is the joke of Peter FitzSimons, former Wallaby lock and now Sydney journalist, speaking in response to the 50-21 thrashing the All Blacks inflicted on the Australians last weekend.

The fallout from the result has been extraordinary. The Daily Telegraph newspaper went as far as inviting readers to contribute jokes at the expense of the country's (once were) rugby stars. It judged this the best of them (it ran in the Herald's Sideswipe column yesterday but it's worth another run):

"The Wallabies practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the field. Head coach Eddie Jones immediately suspended practice while police and federal investigators were called in. After a complete analysis, forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the tryline. Practice was resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again."

Beyond the jokes, though, the recriminations over the loss have been bitter. While Kiwi expats in Australia have had the spring of a trampoline in their steps in the past week, the Aussies themselves have been shaking their heads in disbelief at the fall of their world champion team, with only two months to go until the World Cup starts.

The dream is for the Wallabies to win the cup on their home soil, but it is looking like a nightmare for their fans at the moment.

Everywhere they turn they are reminded of the debacle. The headlines have rang out: "End of the world," "Dead and buried." The talkback callers demanded wholesale changes to the team and the axing of Jones.

Nick Farr-Jones, the great Australian halfback, was quick to tell Jones to ignore that criticism.

Similarly, Australian captain George Gregan has felt the critics' blowtorch. He did have a lacklustre game against New Zealand and commented before the match that he did not believe in the "passion" argument when it came to rugby.

"I don't buy into that whole passion thing - I think it's a bit of rubbish, personally."

The sad thing for Gregan was that his team played like a bit of rubbish, like passionless zombies. But he's also copped it for taking steps before he passes and slowing down the backline. A newspaper analysis, though, has since said he is still the fastest halfback in the Tri-Nations at releasing the ball to his backs.

It's perhaps testimony to the growing hold rugby is gaining in Australia that the reaction has been so strong - and so passionate. In fact, it's very reminiscent ... of New Zealand.

This observation hasn't escaped Farr-Jones.

"I am starting to feel that Australian supporters are behaving much like our New Zealand counterparts. Over there, any loss by their beloved All Blacks is immediately greeted by howls for mass sackings as blame is quickly cast."

Will Australia bounce back? Maybe not, if they hear this one which is doing the rounds:

"Saddam Hussein has appeared on Iraqi TV this morning to quell rumours of his death in an explosion in Baghdad yesterday. To prove that the appearance was not pre-recorded, Saddam stated that he 'watched the rugby on Saturday and the Wallabies were crap.' British and US Government officials have dismissed the report, saying it could have happened any time over the past two years."

- NZPA