Paul Lewis: It's an All Black mission too

When Eddie Butler was here as a Lion in 1983, he and other reserves ran around the field as the Lions were beating Counties at Pukekohe. Some clown from the crowd ran out and tackled one of the dirt-trackers. This got a laugh and, as the players continued their jog, various members of the crowd tried their hand at tackling a Lion.

This new sport was greeted with high amusement until the Lions decided to protect themselves. An unseemly scuffle ensued near the dead-ball line and the newspapers in Britain the next day did not refer to "Great victory over Counties" but "Lions in shameful brawl".

The Lions were understandably miffed at (a) the odd priorities of journalism and (b) at being chastised for simply protecting themselves.

Those at fault, of course, were the great, drooling eejits from the crowd who indulged in Lion-baiting. But it was funny, at least in part, and it does underline how a tour of New Zealand is different. In what other rugby country (except perhaps South Africa) would the crowd amuse themselves by taking on the players?

Butler was an average Wales and Lions No 8 who was left out of the original 1983 touring party here but came out as a late replacement and had one game on that ill-fated tour, lost 4-0 to the All Blacks. He may never have forgotten this.

I say that after reading this excerpt from one of his latest columns in the Observer, for whom he now writes and for whom he will cover the 2005 Lions tour.

"To understand why a tour of New Zealand is like no other, you have to appreciate the emotion that stretches from top to bottom of the country: the fear that New Zealand may one day lose its pre-eminence in rugby.

"It's possible that this attachment to the dear, but rather rudimentary, old game may hint at a civilisation somewhat removed from the promotion playoffs of the cultural league table but it doesn't half make the task of going there 10 times more demanding. The Lions are on a tour; the All Blacks are on a mission."

The first half of his statement is true. Got us in one. We are like that. But the bit that starts with "It's possible" is pure colonialist cant; an unnecessary slight. And he's Welsh. Pontypool. He's not even English, although he writes like he is. Boarding school, probably.

All right, we are not as rich in cultural depth and tradition as the old country but pointing this out is like telling a tramp he is homeless. Continued reference to the fact can only be designed to provoke.

And the "Lions are on a tour, the All Blacks are on a mission"? Excuse me? What sort of half-arsed, five-bob-each-way, apologist cobblers is this? Is he seriously pretending that Sir Clive Woodward and the 2005 Lions will not be on a mission? I bet they're not thinking like that.

Are they really not seeking to place themselves in the rugby hall of fame alongside the 1971 Lions by beating the All Blacks at home?

My column headlined "Lay Out Welcome Mat For Lions" (Dec 26, 04) was essentially an appeal for Kiwis to be as hospitable and as good-humoured with our British visitors as the Australians were in that most enjoyable of World Cups in 2003.

The column noted that we Kiwis could be a bit, well, intense when it came to rugby and that the will to win could sometimes obscure our hospitality. Or submerge it entirely. But it's hard, sometimes, isn't it?

Some English writers - and here I make a distinction from the mass of good-humoured English folk who have a wonderful sense of humour and who are better at taking the mickey out of themselves than Kiwis will ever be - have a habit of saying things like this which seem calculated to offend.

Is it the niggards' response to losing, perhaps?

There is something of an affinity, on the other hand, with the Scots, Irish and even the Welsh. It's because they too often feel, rightly or wrongly, they have been the targets of condescension from patrician Englishmen invoking the implied superiority of the colonist.

No, we must be strong and retain our good old Kiwi hospitality. Even for the Butlers of this world.

And, Eddie ... there's nothing wrong with the will to win, old chap, whatever the motivation. The world is full of excuses and one of the weakest is the other blokes were trying harder. 4-0 should've taught you that.