Campbell's soup kitchen is different gravy

With as many as 70 players and support staff due to board the plane in June, there have been many accusations about people jumping aboard the British and Irish Lions gravy train. One who has made it easier to digest, however, has been team chef Dave Campbell.

Not to be confused with chef de mission, this chef's mission will be to ensure 44 hungry blokes don't starve while in New Zealand. Sounds like Campbell's chunky vegetable soup every night, then.

Due to the unavailability of Alison Holst, the NZRU had offered the Lions a recent addition to their culinary team, Suzie, who boasts a wealth of experience from her time working as a waitress in South Africa during the 1995 World Cup. Her speciality, by all accounts, is prawns but she excels in all things fishy. The English politely declined the offer which has left a bitter taste in the mouths of those at rugby headquarters.

In fact, Campbell's appointment as chef to the England team came about as a result of the 1995 World Cup final food poisoning scandal when a number of All Blacks were clearly affected by illness during their 15-12 extra-time loss to the Springboks.

Clive Woodward being Clive Woodward - he wasn't Sir Clive in those days - moved to ensure his own side wouldn't pick up a case of the dodgy bot by employing Campbell as his chef for all major competitions. Various undercover investigations have revealed the real reason for the appointment was because Clive likes Campbell's sorbets and the fact he also lets him dip his finger into the icing bowl.

Campbell had the apron on during England's triumph at the 2003 World Cup and has been credited as being the secret recipe behind their success.

With the advent of celebrity chefs, especially in the UK with the likes of Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsay, it wouldn't come as a surprise if Campbell jumped on board and exposed the tarts that hang around the camp as well as some other equally saucy tales.

- HERALD ON SUNDAY