Smith's dreams sweet after all black nights

New All Blacks coach Wayne Smith (right) and assistant Tony Gilbert in 2000. Picture / Mark Mitchell

Biceps bulging, torsos trained and taut: the sheer physicality of rugby men invites images of he-men.

But what of those members of the species who cannot be pigeon-holed in so predictable a manner? Take New Zealand assistant coach Wayne Smith, an international player 17 times for New Zealand and now All Blacks assistant coach.

The story of Smith's extraordinary journey from player to All Blacks coach to rejection followed by renaissance has been well documented. But what is not so widely told is Smith's personal feelings from travelling down a so unpredictable, at times painful road.

Questioning his own credentials for the top job cost Smith the ultimate honour in New Zealand rugby, probably New Zealand sport. The post of All Blacks coach is coveted, revered by most in the game.

Graham Henry talks of the immense pride of the post and Smith knows what he means.

An honest, open self-appraisal was enough to loosen Smith's grasp on the top job in 2001. As he said: "Others [in decision-making posts] saw it as a weakness. To me, I was just trying to be accountable, to ask them to ensure they chose the right man for the job. I wanted to be that man but had areas to work on."

With a brutal insensitivity, those who wielded the power in New Zealand rugby wielded the axe.

Smith lost his job and, for a time, his sporting world collapsed.

"That was a pretty tough time," he reflected this week, when we discussed that traumatic period in his life.

"I expected to get the job again. I suppose looking back I wouldn't have questioned myself if I'd had a bit more time. I was pretty determined to improve and get the job right.

"What hurt most was probably that I didn't communicate myself very well to them. They felt I had lost some of the passion but I said to them, some people were passionate on the outside but mine was inside."

Wayne Smith is not bitter about that time, he does not hold grudges.

"I was responsible, I made the comments and statements. We'd lost a match to Australia we should have won and I said publicly what I was thinking. Had I said nothing I would have kept the job because I had a really high mark in my review."

Big boys aren't supposed to hurt, especially rugby men. They're the toughies of world sport, able to take the physical blows and mental knocks without so much as changing stride.

But Wayne Smith is different: sensitive, aware of others' feelings, quiet, courteous.

Frankly, New Zealand rugby could not have a finer ambassador. In his time of mental pain, Smith learned other lessons of life, like who his friends really were. And he found solace in religion, a part of his life inculcated by his mother, who had been a leader of their Presbyterian church in his youth. "I went to Sunday School with Mum and, although I am not what you would call a really devout church-goer, I believe in God," he said.

"We have a great minister at our church, John Hunt, and he has been almost like a coaching mentor to me. He helped me considerably in that period. I find attending church gives me a time of solace away from the pressures of life. I have a good inherited faith that all will be okay in life."

These are not the words of the formulaic rugby man, he of brawn not brain. But then, events in Smith's life have induced a deeper knowledge, perhaps also an understanding, not just of people and their behaviour but the wider workings of the world.

"The irony was that getting sacked was the best thing for my All Blacks career. Yet when I lost the job I'd never have wasted a dollar betting I would ever become involved with the All Blacks again.

"I think eventually, they [the selection panel] realised I was at least being honest. I believe they felt sufficiently well of me to welcome me back. So now, when I look back I do not regret that honesty I showed. I was still pretty raw at the time and fairly young as a coach. But my views have not changed: I always hold myself accountable and I put a lot of pressure on myself. Perhaps I would just express it a little differently now."

Smith always remembers an extraordinary incident at that traumatic time in his life. He was driving home from Christchurch airport, knowing he had lost the job.

"When I reached my street, I saw all these cars and thought, 'Gee, someone is having a party'. It wasn't until I reached my house, I realised what was happening. When I went inside, the place was full of my mates and most of them were crying. But out of that adversity, came so much."

He believed that the experience of working in England with Northampton not only saved his coaching career but turned his whole life around. "It did my confidence so much good to know that I was still wanted."

He made so many friends, had such good times, he said he would find it impossible to coach another English club against Northampton.

And when the call came from Graham Henry, he remembers the details with wry amusement.

"I was sitting on our bed at home in Northampton and he called. He asked me if I'd like to go home and join him and Steve [Hansen] in the All Blacks job. I must have repeated his words, I was so shocked. And as I did, I saw my wife waving her arms frantically at me. She was saying, no, no."

But sometimes not even wives get it right all the time. Smith has made an outstanding success of the job, together with Henry and Hansen.

"My satisfaction comes from working with these boys, hopefully trying to make an impression on them as people. That is what I love doing, what I am best at doing."

But would he ever again apply for the top job in New Zealand rugby, when Henry called it a day? That induces a deep pause for thought.

"I personally think that Steve is suited to that role. He has a wide vision and is able to work in that context. If he went for it I would back him. You can never say never, but I doubt if I'd go for it again. My experiences showed me what I was good at, what I wanted to do. I can still be a bossy little bugger and make my point but I know where I am best. I feel a contentment now. It's been an incredible journey for me but I am really happy."

And the future? "In a perfect world, it would be going down a level and working with younger players. We tend to want to put all our top coaches in the top teams but once you have done that you need to experience coaching with younger players.

"That is how we can keep the quality kids coming through and that's where I would like to end up."

That, of course, reveals his quintessential trait: Selflessness.


Wayne Smith

All Black coach from December 17, 2000-October 3, 2001
* Played 17
* Won 12
* Lost 5

2000: Wallabies retain the Bledisloe Cup with John Eales' 80th-minute penalty in Wellington.
All Blacks second in the Tri-Nations.

2001: Wallabies retain Bledisloe Cup, winning for the first time in Dunedin and then taking the series with another last-minute win in Sydney.
All Blacks second in Tri-Nations.