There was a time when Ali Williams thought every little knock or twinge signalled serious injury.
Two years away from the game with major Achilles injuries can do that to a man. Hamstrings and ribs mend easily enough. Minds are more fragile machines.
"The mental battle is even harder [than the physical one]," Williams says. "You deal with injuries but the uncertainty ticks away at you.
"Everything you feel you think, what's that? Before you just played on. Now it's a little different. We are getting there."
He's also getting to a place where he's on the cusp of an All Blacks recall. If they select four locks among the 16 forwards for the World Cup, Williams will be there.
Take three and an extra loose forward who can cover lock and it looks like a straight choice between Williams and Blues team-mate Anthony Boric.
Williams has edged ahead of Tom Donnelly, who has struggled with injuries and form in 2011, and brings more consistency, experience and leadership than both Jarrad Hoeata and Isaac Ross.
Williams might not be the world's best lock like he was in 2008 - the athletic yet robust second-rower who possessed creativity and graft in equal measures - but he's getting back to something he's satisfied with.
In the past three weeks his work in the set piece has been good and he's making more of an impression around the park.
Like the Blues, a team in the playoffs for the first time since 2007, he just needs to find that little bit more to make a major statement.
"For me it's about growing individually to help the team," he said after Friday night's bruising 33-16 win over the Highlanders. "The reality is I have to perform for this team and give it everything because it's about time I did. I have played a lot of games but I probably haven't played my best rugby for them, which is disappointing for me. Week by week, we are getting better and keep growing.
"The set piece is generally going pretty good and that's all about combinations. It's my individual clean-outs, carries. It's simple stuff that on the surface you can pan over but when you do this for a job is important."
Williams didn't get to do it for a job for 18 months after two snapped Achilles. He eased himself back into competitive football in December during a five-week stint with Nottingham on the soggier grounds and slower pace of the UK's second-tier Championship competition and has been building ever since.
Former All Blacks lock Ian Jones believes Williams is timing his run nicely: "What he brings above anything else is big game experience, knowledge and trust," Jones says. "When you get to the latter stages of the tournament, you need someone you can trust at test level and Ali Williams fits that.
"His lineout work has been superb both on his ball and against the opposition. He's a big, strong guy, his scrummaging is good and Ali also has a wonderful ability to get his body over the gain line. He doesn't often get driven back.
"He is definitely in the mix. He's been very good the last three weeks and this is when Graham Henry starts bringing the pen out rather than the pencil."
Williams has always been part of Henry's thinking. It's why Williams was invited to spend time with the squad in 2009 and 2010. It kept Williams' goals right in front of him as he struggled with the long, lonely battle of rehabilitation.
"Two years away made me appreciate what I have and what I love doing," he says. "If anything, it makes you want to strive to be better than what you were. I don't think you can ever play the perfect game but you can get damn close. It's what we all strive for. I think I am one of the luckiest people alive - I wake up every morning excited to get into it.
"It definitely helped [to be included in the All Blacks over the last two years] and communication is the key. If you know where you stand, you can go from there. They have been quite honest with me. It's a pretty simple formula. If you want to be the best, you have to bring something to the All Blacks. If you don't, you're not going to be there. It's that simple. A lot of people have stuck by me and had belief. It's time I repaid that."
Rugby: Williams heading down the right Ali
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