Wales stare down the haka in 2008. Photo / Photosport
Wales stare down the haka in 2008. Photo / Photosport
Memories of the late Andy Haden are certain to be evoked in Cardiff this weekend as the national rugby team try once again to end their All Blacks void - but the name of Brian McKechnie will be summoned by those truly in the know.
While the former was the second-rower depicted as the villain for throwing himself out of a line-out in the final seconds of the 1978 Test match in the capital's citadel, the latter was the replacement fullback who nervelessly stepped up and converted the penalty which ensured Welsh Kiwi heartbreak would run and run.
Except it was not the Southlander's unerring toe poke but his celebration - teeth bared, arm raised - which was to earn him scorn, not just in Wales but in Australia.
Three years later, McKechnie, as one of only a few "Double All Blacks", was the cricketer pictured around the globe hurling his bat to the floor after Trevor Chappell's infamous underarm delivery on the last ball of the World Series final, with New Zealand needing six to tie.
One man, a pair of sporting injustices and two wildly contradicting reactions.
"Yeah, the Aussies have ribbed me about that," McKechnie told Telegraph Sport this week. "There was one dinner I attended when they had a big TV screen showing first how disgusted I was with the Chappell brothers and then showing how I celebrated that winning penalty against Wales. They all said, 'not too annoyed on that occasion, were you mate?' All I can say is that I was 40 yards away at fullback when that line-out call was made, so I couldn't see much.
"I soon found out afterwards, though, and Welsh friends such as Barry John and [the late] John Dawes never stopped reminding me. I guess I wish neither incident had happened like they did, although as a New Zealander I'm not going to say I wished Wales won that day.
"It's funny, it's the 40th anniversary of the 'underarm' and that remains a huge talking point. But in the last month I have been asked about '78. And that means Wales must be playing the All Blacks again."
Brian McKechnie (L) and Andy Haden (R) loom as legendary figures in the story of the All Blacks and Wales rivalry. Photos / Photosport
On Saturday, Wayne Pivac - a Northlander - will try to guide Wales to their first victory over New Zealand in 68 years and 31 games.
A curse, a hex, a jinx, a hoodoo... in truth, none of these descriptions are befitting of maybe the most notorious barren run in Test rugby, because they suggest something spiritual, a series of bewitched misfortunes, when the head-to-head points simply to a harsh reality.
"I love the Welsh rugby fans, it was a privilege to play in front of them with their passion, and I can fully understand how they feel about their results against the All Blacks," McKechnie, now 67, said.
"And it's human nature to hark back to a grievance, especially as the Welsh were at their best in the Seventies and also think they should have won in 1973 [when a late JPR Williams claim for a try was ruled out]. But that match was more than 40 years ago and there have only been a few close calls since."
'Village idiots'
The stats overwhelmingly back up McKechnie. In the ensuing 25 showdowns, Wales have lost by an average of 25.92 points - at least four scores - and only twice kept the deficit to single figures.
Yet each build-up has unashamedly depicted an epic rivalry. In 2006, this anomalous hype became too much for New Zealand Herald columnist Chris Rattue.
"It was the usual stuff about how Wales were going to be great and break traditions and so on," Rattue said. "And the All Blacks were always beating them like 50-3, so it just came pouring out. I referred to the Welsh as the 'village idiots' of rugby union. And it just went off."
Graham Henry, the then New Zealand coach who had once guided Wales, was more furious than anyone.
"I'm going to sort the fellow out when I get home," he promised on the eve of that match. "There's 100 years of history between New Zealand and Wales and the two teams are very close in a rugby sense."
Jerry Collins celebrates victory over Wales in 2008. Photo / Photosport
And the result? 45-10, and by the latter stages the red-shirted did, indeed, resemble a collection of clueless bumpkins, albeit without stalks of corn sticking from the side of their mouths.
"If rugby between New Zealand and Wales was a boxing contest, they would have stopped it many rounds ago and revoked the Welsh licence," Rattue wrote. Only the romantics found it easy to disagree.
But then there have been, as McKechnie observes, a couple of near misses.
Emboldened by the exhilarating contest at the 2003 World Cup - which saw the underdogs leading 37-33 with 18 minutes to go before succumbing 55-37 - Wales came within a point of Richie McCaw's tourists a year later. It was so almost the stuff of Max Boyce legend.
The festivities began with professional tenor Wynne Evans - soon to become that annoying opera singer in those Go Compare adverts - arriving on the pitch unannounced, waving a flag and belting out "Bread of Heaven".
The Haka had been upstaged and in the final throes it seemed that so, at last, would the visitors.
Alas, controversy - and by extension, the All Blacks - reigned once more. However, this time Wales had nobody else to blame but themselves.
Gareth Thomas' Welsh side came oh-so-close in 2004. Photo / Photosport
With four minutes to go and four points in arrears, Tony Spreadbury awarded Wales a penalty. The problem was Gareth Thomas, the captain, believed there were at least nine minutes to go. In the week, officials had changed the Millennium Stadium clock to show stoppage time included. Before, it had only shown actual time.
Nobody told Thomas and his players. So he elected for Gavin Henson to take the three points and was stunned when the final whistle sounded three minutes later.
"Wales were on top, had all the momentum and if they'd had a crack at us with a lineout, God knows what would have happened," McCaw said.
Instead, the tired script rumbles on with only the occasional intriguing - but essentially irrelevant - subplot lending respite from the depressingly familiar.
The genius of Jonathan Davies even managed to pluck a positive to cherish from the rubble of the wretched second half of the Eighties that featured Wales playing New Zealand four times and losing by an accumulative scoreline of 185-27.
"I was captain for the Second Test in Auckland and we lost 54-9," he said. "But we scored the game's best try and were applauded back to our own half. One of my proudest possessions is that watch I won that day as Man of the Match. As a Welshman you have to take what you can against the All Blacks."
Ryan Jones' own "glory" provides stark, if slightly pitiful evidence. The Lions backrower captained Wales in 2008 and presided over one of the more memorable Haka responses.
Wales stare down the haka in 2008. Photo / Photosport
When the ceremonial dance had reached its tongue-waggling conclusion, Jones and his Dragons refused to budge, remaining on their spots, staring at their opponents. New Zealand did likewise and for a full two minutes, there was a stand-off. Eventually, with the stadium in uproar, McCaw so uncharacteristically blinked first and led his men away.
"It turned out to be one of the most magical moments of my career," Jones said. "It was the day we won the Haka."
Imagine if they had actually won the game (they lost 29-9). And perhaps therein lies the point. Maybe they cannot even imagine it.
"As soon as I joined Cardiff in 2005, people would ask me why can't we beat New Zealand, what do we have to do," Xavier Rush, the former All Black who still lives in the capital, told me a few years ago.
"Journalists would ring me up before every New Zealand game, repeating the questions from the year before. You don't want to tell a writer that their story will be boring, but there are only so many times you can say, 'you have the players, the talent, the skillset - you just need the belief'. And the longer it goes on that, of course, becomes more difficult - it is self-perpetuating. But a lot of it really is about belief. And let's just say, I'll believe it when I see it."
