Right wing
It would be fair to say there are plenty of right wingers in the USA. About 300 million or so.
Maybe Milton Friedman, the father of the free market. What about Ronald Reagan or anyone from the Tea Party or Fox News?
The star of Ben Hur comes to mind. Also the voice of the NRA, Charlton Heston had plenty of fire in his belly and would be a lethal defender when under pressure.
Centre
A creator for those outside him. Ace quarterbacks Peyton Manning, Terry Bradshaw and Brett Favre come to mind.
But who is the man who has all the connections? Kevin Bacon was the originator of the six degrees of separation. He could link to anyone with ease.
Second five-eighth
A big man who takes no prisoners. Jules Winnfield, the character played by Samuel L Jackson in Pulp Fiction, would be a hard man to stop. Elvis Presley, in his later years, would be difficult to get round thanks to those fried Mars bars but may not last the 80 minutes.
The one that stands out is Jack Reacher. Strong as an ox, tough as teak and will not forget any calls. And we are talking the book character, not the movie character, played by midget Tom Cruise.
Left winger
There are as many left wingers in the USA as there are cakes when Kim Dotcom is in the
room. What is considered left wing in America is probably right of centre anyone else.
Perhaps Michael Moore? Bit slow. Jimmy Hoffa a chance? Possibly better to look at someone like OJ Simpson. Great runner and elusive in all departments. May struggle to be available, though, and will sell his jersey, boots, socks, garters . . .
First five-eighth
The director, the man to steer the ship. The likes of Dwight D Eisenhower, Harry Truman or the Roosevelts come to mind.
What about Steven Spielberg, the Warner brothers, or Orson Welles? They can run the show, make the decisions.
But it is hard to go past George Washington. A class act who could get everyone on the right page.
Halfback
The distributor. Few were better at that than basketballer Magic Johnson. Could find anyone with ease. But at more than 2m, may stuggle to get down and get the ball off the deck.
Maybe Danny de Vito or Cruise, or even George Constanza. But who was short, talked non stop and would not back down to anyone? Gary Coleman gets the nod.
No 8
They need to have a wide view of the field and make the right decision at the right time. Few would go past Muhammad Ali. Gifted athlete who would be excellent in team talks. Not a great team man, however.
Bruce Jenner? Too much baggage and may not be gender eligible in a few weeks.
Better to stick with one of the greats. Abraham Lincoln always made the right call and was a man who believed in team work. Will not be on the social committee to organise any theatre outings.
Openside flanker
Few were better at getting in behind the opposition and upsetting them than Richard Nixon. But he got caught and penalised out of the game.
John Stockton could steal the ball better than anyone else.
Joseph McCarthy would be the man. Like a dog with a bone, he did not relent despite a weight of evidence against him. Those are the qualities needed to wear the No 7 jersey.
Blindside flanker
Al Capone never backed down to anyone, while his nemesis, Elliot Ness, was also mighty
durable.
Maybe Lou Gehrig, who put in a solid shift. Marilyn Manson is mad enough to be considered.
But John Rambo gets the jersey. He may be wild and be too much of an individual but who would want to go past him?
Lock
LeBron James has to come into consideration. Athletic, tough and tall. Questionable in hot conditions, though.
Chevy Chase does not seem to have done much lately and has the height.
JD Salinger has to come into the second row. Locks are buried in the tight, and there is nothing better Salinger likes than being anonymous.
Lock
If LeBron does not get one locking position, can he get the other one? Not likely.
Wilt Chamberlain is a chance, as is Bill Russell. But Michael Jordan is the one. His will to win and athleticism can not be topped.
Tighthead prop
We need a rotund, short person. In the US, the home of the hubcap burger and Coke, there are more than a few candidates.
Roseanne Barr, Oprah in her larger days, Homer Simpson, the short fat guy in endless American comedies.
But Babe Ruth gets the nod.
Hooker
Plenty of options. Hugh Grant's friend, Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, Heidi Fleiss.
But Monica Lewinsky fits the bill. She's only slightly older than Keven Mealamu.
Loosehead prop
This is America's team, so you have to have a professional wrestler on board. There are plenty of contenders. But Hulk Hogan is just a step above.
Bench
Judge Judy - A life on the bench, so will fit in well.
Steve Jobs - More style than substance. Just what you need on the pine.
Steve Buscemi - Adaptable and will happily be a bit-part player.
Jim Thorpe - Great athlete. Good at everything else, so will be handy at the 15-man code.
Benjamin Franklin - Inventor, scientist, scholar, politician. Great utility value.
George W Bush - Someone has to take the blame if the side loses. Could use those weapons of mass destruction that no-one else has ever seen.
Charlie Sheen - At least it will be interesting. May sulk if not given a role early in the game.
Carl Lewis - His speed is blinding and he can jump pretty well, too. Just don't get him to sing the anthem.
Coach
Vince Lombardi or John Wooden.
