KEY POINTS:
As he talks about a future in coaching, Andrew Mehrtens spies Springbok lock Victor Matfield leaving the Toulon training pitch to grab a water bottle.
Always looking for an opening, Mehrtens raises his voice for Matfield's benefit and changes tack: "Yeah, well, he might know lineouts better than I do but I love to give him advice and, you know, I think he finds it pretty useful."
Matfield looks baffled for a moment, then Mehrtens breaks into a giggle. Matfield grins and lopes off.
For a man who can legitimately be described as one of rugby's giants, Andrew Mehrtens is famously scrawny - and famously cheeky.
Having to cope with the raging behemoths of the international game with nothing more than the physique of the man in the street, Mehrtens had to live off his quick wits and considerable talent, one of the reasons he is such a favourite with the public.
Close your eyes and dream, and it might have been you who played 70 tests for the All Blacks.
Laughing, he admits to being an unusual player: "I'm not athletic, I'm not big and strong, and I obviously don't go out looking for the physical battle - that doesn't thrill me."
Still, here he is at 34 (he will be 35 in April) plying his trade in France, where rugby can be unforgiving. The move to Toulon, in June of 2007, after two years at Harlequins in London, has given him a new lease of life: "The more games I play the better I feel, and I think I can get sharper. I'm in better shape this year than I was last year. And I still feel mentally fresh."
Conditions, it should be noted, are pretty good in Toulon. The president of this second division French club, Mourad Boudjellal, has decided to get out his (very large) cheque book to ensure his team make it up to the first division this year and he has lured some very big fish to this Mediterranean port. Mehrtens can count George Gregan, Matfield, Anton Oliver and half a dozen other internationals among his team-mates.
All of whom are coached by Tana Umaga. On the day I visit, despite being the middle of winter, the sun is shining and it's a balmy 15 degrees - the south of France doesn't really do winter. Toulon are 10 points ahead of their nearest rival, having lost only one match; barring a complete disaster they will qualify for the top flight at a canter.
Mehrtens' enthusiasm is understandable: "It's a great experience in life to be able to do something you love as a job. You're lucky to be a rugby player anywhere in this day and age, but to be able to come to a place like this is fantastic.
"It's a lot easier to strike a balance here and enjoy the fullness of life. Out of the rugby spotlight of New Zealand, you feel like you're just a very small part of a very big world. We're half an hour from St Tropez, Nice and Marseille are just up the road..."
All the same, Mehrtens is far from anonymous - the number of autographs he signs during the afternoon attest to that - and the locals are passionate about their rugby. The spotlight is still shining, but perhaps being away from home means he is less aware of the crowd.
In fact, the whole of French rugby is talking about Toulon, who have a bigger budget and more stars than virtually all the first division sides. Unusually for a second division team, nearly all their games are televised.
Does the high profile make them a target for some of the less savoury tactics for which French rugby is renowned?
"Toulon have always been known as a physical team, perhaps even a brutal team. We wouldn't want to flatter ourselves by thinking that people want to have a go now just because there are a whole lot of foreigners playing."
But has he found himself getting special treatment at the bottom of a ruck or two?
"After 15 years," he laughs, "if I can't avoid getting hauled into rucks, then I don't know what I've learned".
This kind of reaction - "I've never been one to bite my tongue" - is part of the Mehrtens charm.
How does he find Tana as a coach?
"It's hard to assess objectively, but I can't fault him. He ticks so many boxes as a coach: he'll always have the respect of the players for what he accomplished on the field; the way he is and the way he treats the players - he has a lot of empathy and that gives him a head start; and his all-round knowledge of the game is obvious.
"I know he'll want to take those skills back to New Zealand."
So, as a player who has been coached by both Graham Henry and Robbie Deans, what does he think of the decision to keep on Henry, Steve Hansen and Wayne Smith?
"I'm a big fan of the current coaching team. I've had a lot to do with Wayne Smith, who I felt was unfairly dumped in 2001. I thought it was a kneejerk reaction and I was disappointed by the way the procedure was handled.
"Now he's in a good mix with Steve Hansen. I'd hate to liken them to Laurel and Hardy, but they've got a good balance, and with Graham Henry, I don't think that there's anything in rugby that those three guys between them couldn't cover.
"I'm glad they've been given the chance to continue, because I think that's the best thing for the players. They'll learn more from them than they would from anyone else.
"On the other hand, it's a shame to see Robbie leaving New Zealand but where else does he go? He's done everything else in domestic rugby and he deserves the chance to coach at international level."
Given such a solid endorsement of the Henry team, what did he make of the quarter-final?
"It was just one of those days. It happens in sport. France didn't play all that well, but that's the worst I've seen the All Blacks play in years.
"What didn't help was a guy who I'd experienced in England [referee Wayne Barnes] and who in my view wasn't even up to refereeing English premiership games. He can be like a rabbit in the headlights, he just freezes, clams up.
"I had a few running battles with him. But the All Blacks became very individual..."
Mehrtens is reluctant to criticise - "coaches and selectors think of everything; no one was better placed to make those decisions" - but when pushed he does admit to being surprised Aaron Mauger was left out of the mix for the quarter.
"That's the only question mark I would have over the campaign. I was asked by the press over here before the competition started who I thought would be the key players, and I felt Aaron Mauger would play a big role. Of course, I wasn't on the inside."
He is quick to scotch suggestions of choking: "Teams line up to beat the All Blacks year in, year out. The problem starts when the New Zealand public starts believing the All Blacks are invincible, because we're not.
"I don't see it as choking, it's just losing games. If we'd got to the final five times, maybe.
"As a rugby player, you just have to look at it simplistically - it's a loss. Don't read any more into it, learn from your mistakes, and move on. Former All Blacks always talk about fear of losing as being a very strong motivating factor."
So does he see himself putting his own experience to use and becoming a coach?
"I never would have thought it. I didn't think I could be serious enough, but perhaps I can.
"As a senior player you're already looking at a slightly bigger picture, you're trying to help the guys around you. That said, even though I've played at a professional level for a number of years, coaching is a skill in itself, and I'd be prepared to learn, even at a junior level.
"Maybe here, maybe in New Zealand. My intention is to go back to New Zealand and raise my family, but I haven't put a time limit on it."
It is clear that Mehrtens is in his element. How long can he keep it up? He admits that the body isn't what it was - now he has to get out to warm up an hour and a half before games. In days gone by, he'd head out on to the pitch barely having stretched if he could get away with it. Another laugh.
"I guess I'm coming to the end of the road - this might go on for only another four or five years..."
