KEY POINTS:
Keven Mealamu would obviously rather be butting heads with John Smit on the Stade de France this weekend, but the All Blacks hooker at least has a consolation prize to focus on.
While most of his World Cup teammates are taking stock as far away from a rugby field as possible, Mealamu and utility back Isaia Toeava are using Saturday night's Air NZ Cup final with Wellington as therapy while they continue to recover from New Zealand's shock quarterfinal exit in Cardiff a fortnight ago.
Both have been included on the Auckland bench despite not having played for the province since Wellington eliminated them at the semifinal stage a year ago.
The 28-year-old hooker, a veteran of 50 tests since 2002 and 64 games for Auckland, said being embraced by a happy squad vindicated his decision to make himself available after arriving home from Wales last Wednesday.
"The boys have been really good, it's just good being around the guys again," he said.
"It's a good atmosphere here and the boys are really up at the moment."
Mealamu left the maudlin atmosphere of the All Blacks camp soon after the depressing loss to France, returning home among the first wave of players and management.
Since then he sought solace from family and friends, while also realising he wasn't quite ready to throw the boots in a corner.
"I was keen to get back in to it," he said, emphasising the hamstring strain that confined him to the stands at Millennium Stadium was fully recovered.
And he also dismissed doubts about his mental state, though admitting the pain of the All Blacks' worst ever World Cup finish still lingers.
"It still bugs me some days, thinking about what might have been. The hardest part was watching and not being able to help your mates out.
"I suppose the more you think about it, the more it's going to hang around," he said.
"Focusing on this week has helped me sort of put it behind me."
Support on the home front and encouragement from complete strangers after he ventured out in public was also part of the healing process.
"It makes things a little bit easier and puts things in perspective again," he said.
"You always have your family and friends back here, that's always a good thing.
"The support around New Zealand has been really good too, walking around town people are quite supportive, they still love their team."
Mealamu was also impressed with the apparent groundswell of support for Graham Henry, after an opinion poll estimated 61 per cent of respondents wanted the head coach to continue.
The New Zealand Rugby Union (NZRU) will make a coaching announcement in December.
Henry has not confirmed whether he would be interested in extending his four-year reign and in any case his future will probably be governed by an independent review of the All Blacks' campaign.
Mealamu, who lost his status as the team's outright No 1 hooker through Henry's rotation policy, was encouraged by the poll's result.
"I think that's good. You have to get some momentum. We seem to be changing quite a bit after every World Cup and I suppose it just makes it hard to get some momentum going," said Mealamu, a member of the axed John Mitchell's unsuccessful squad in 2003.
- NZPA AKL cb nb
