Rugby: Ex-All Blacks hooker Keven Mealamu reveals the perfect advice he got from Richie McCaw

Keven Mealamu and Richie McCaw were key parts of the All Blacks between the early 2000s and 2015. Photo / Getty Images

For the players who earn their place in the All Blacks squad, it's the realisation of a life-long dream; the culmination of plenty of hard work and sacrifice to reach rugby's pinnacle.

It's also their ticket onto the most scrutinised stage in New Zealand sport.

The All Blacks hold the attention and admiration of the public in a tight grasp, and when things aren't going well, the fans and media alike are quick to point it out – be it singling out an individual or addressing the team as a whole.

For players new to the environment, it can be an eye-opening experience. As long-time All Blacks hooker Keven Mealamu recalls, some comments from fans may not mean any harm, but the outside noise can weigh heavy on a player's mind.

"It's probably not said with any malice or any intent to hurt or anything. But there can be those little comments that stick with you when you're driving back home," Mealamu says.

"They definitely stick with you, and when you've never experienced that kind of comment from fans before, sometimes you can take things the wrong way."

In the professional sporting realm, mental challenges come in a variety of vessels. From performance, to injury and the sacrifices made to travel abroad, being able to deal with the inner struggles is something that every player should be equipped to addressed.

However, in New Zealand, where men tend to promote a 'harden up; boys don't cry' attitude toward mental wellbeing, accepting and sharing your struggles isn't the easiest thing to do, but it is important – particularly now when players are easily accessible on social media.

"It's about trying to change the stigma around what's usually been to, I think the wording has been 'harden up'," Mealamu says. "But a lot of the things we're finding out is that (attitude) actually doesn't work, and for people to be able to share some of the struggles they're going through, sometimes it's better to share what you're feeling inside rather than to bottle it all up.

Keven Mealamu leading the All Blacks' haka in 2015. Photo / Photosport

"When you actually take notice of it and say these are things that are real, it's gives you a chance to be able to understand what it is, what it feels like and getting some help around how to deal with some of the pressures.

"Some are external, some of the pressures are things you can't control, but then you look at what you can control, the way you think about things, how a positive mindset can really change the way you look at things as well."

For Mealamu, it was a piece of advice from All Blacks teammate Richie McCaw that helped him to deal with the added weight that the black jersey carries early in his career.

"Earlier on in your career, it's hard not to read things," Mealamu admits.

"One of the best things I learnt - from one of my good teammates, Richie - was you have to learn to be level the whole way through; whether you have a good game or a bad game, because some of the comments that are made, if it's really positive, sometimes you can take it the wrong way and end up getting a little bit big-headed about things. When it's the other way and a bit critical, it can get you down.

"Learning to look at your own performance first and what that looks like, people will always have opinions, whether that be in the media or fans and people you meet around town. That was one of the best pieces of advice I got from another player; learning to stay level, humble and making sure you're not feeding either side of it – whether it's too positive or too critical."

Mealamu played in 132 matches for the All Blacks from 2002-15, winning the Rugby World Cup with the team in 2011 and 2015.

On the international level, he achieved anything a player could hope for, going through plenty of his own tough times to reach the levels he did, leaning on those around him during those moments.

"In my time as an All Black we were really lucky to work alongside some really good people. Someone that really stands out for me is Gilbert Enoka, and a lot of the coaches I've worked alongside as well.

Keven Mealamu enjoyed plenty of success in his time with the All Blacks. Photo / Photosport

"People who have been through experiences, you can try to draw from what they've been through and what they share with you as well. Sometimes it's skill sets that they share with you, sometimes it's about sharing stories and it gives you a chance to learn from their experiences rather than having to go through it yourself."

With his playing days behind him, Mealamu is now the one passing on his knowledge.

As part of New Zealand Rugby's Headfirst programme, run in association with the Movember Foundation and the Mental Health Foundation, he speaks with players, coaches, support staff and families in the rugby community about supporting their own wellbeing and that of others.

"It's always an honour to be able to share with the young people," he says.

"How they take that on; how they hear it and see it is up to them. I was blessed to have a long career in professional rugby, so surely there's a few things in there I might be able to share for some of the young players to take out and they might be able to help them on their journey as well."