Given his time again, Wayne Smith might not be so hard on himself. He might have kept to himself his concerns he was no longer the right man to coach the All Blacks.
He's not sure that he would, though. He can't see that he would be doing his job
properly if he wasn't holding himself accountable.
So if we could somehow wind the clock back to September 2001, Smith would still probably opt to put his job on the line.
That's what he did four years ago, when, after losing a Bledisloe Cup game in the dying minutes, he told the New Zealand Rugby Union he no longer wanted to carry on as head coach of the All Blacks.
A week later he changed his mind but the damage had been done. The NZRU had reviewed Smith's two-year tenure favourably but his uncertainty didn't sit well with them and John Mitchell was given the job.
"I was being accountable," said Smith of his decision to put the post up for tender. "We were under pressure. We lost a game against Australia we should've won. I put myself under pressure.
"With time, I possibly wouldn't have been so hard on myself. But I have always been pretty hard on myself as a player and as a coach. I raised questions and other people answered them and I ended up coaching at Northampton.
"The review process was thorough and very positive towards me - a lot of people were surprised a coach would not just take that. But at the time I didn't think it was the right thing to do. Players get dropped and I wanted to make sure that I had the full support of the people who count in New Zealand rugby. I was questioning whether I was the right person for the job and I guess I wanted confirmation of that."
When he didn't get that confirmation, there was no acrimonious bust-up or bitterness. Yet, despite the fact he didn't burn the bridge, he never believed he would ever be wanted again by New Zealand.
That seems remarkable now. Smith appears to have been born to do his current role coaching the All Black backs.
Last year he was accused of madness when he implemented the flat backline. Now the critics can see it was madness with method.
In Cardiff last week the All Black backs created a try for Rico Gear when they simply drew and passed until they created the overlap.
It was simple stuff but doing the basics well is the essence of good coaching.
That Smith has been able to come back into the All Black fold and make a serious contribution is largely due to his ability to leave his ego at the door.
Having been head coach, he could've gone all precious about coming back as an assistant to Graham Henry. When the offer came in December 2003, though, his only concern was breaking his contract with English club Northampton.
"If you had given me odds of one million to one I probably wouldn't have even placed $10 that I would be involved with the All Blacks again. I never even dreamed that New Zealand rugby would ever want me or give me another opportunity again.
"It was only difficult from the perspective of Northampton Saints. I had a really good relationship with owner Keith Barwell. I loved the players and we had done well together. All of a sudden you get asked to come home, you have to take other people into consideration.
"I am a loyal person and I just didn't want to let anyone down.
"I sought the permission of Barwell and the players understood that it wasn't an easy decision to make. I love my country, I am a really patriotic person and I love the jersey. It wasn't that difficult a decision once everything else worked out.
"I have never had any difficulty with any role. I was a technical analyst for John Hart and was comfortable with that. It doesn't make any difference to me. I don't need to be in any of the photos."
It's easy to believe Smith when he says that. He has no issues handling pressure.
"I have never had a sick day in my life because of pressure. I have never missed a training run and that stands through today. While I am hard on myself and I expect the best of myself and the teams that I coach, I have never found pressure a problem."
But all that said, there is an obvious sense that Smith is happier as an assistant where he is one step removed from the firing line.
He's happy, as long as he can get on with doing what drives him.
"I love what I do. I love helping these people be as good as they can be. Seeing guys develop as people is the main thing. In 20 years time you will know the answer as to whether we have been successful. Hopefully this whole era will have an influence on them."
It's certainly had an influence on Smith. He's learned to not to be burdened by the responsibility of others. He now focuses only on his job.
That clarity is vital, especially when it is underpinned by that same intrinsic dedication to give of his best.
"I am still pretty hard on myself. I have learned to work a bit smarter and prioritise a bit better, particularly when I'm at home, and that tends to give you a bit of perspective.
"It's all a matter of knowing doing what you can do and not carrying other people's monkeys around with you. Everyone within the organisation has got to take responsibility."
Smith, like his fellow coaches Steve Hansen and Henry, knows that his main responsibility is to guide the team to World Cup glory in 2007.
That is the stated aim and that is why the development theme hovers over this tour. The ultimate goal is to find 30 players who can win the World Cup.
And whether they succeed or fail in that mission, Smith's career will arrive at a crossroads in 2007. As to which direction it will go he can't be sure. He only knows that, post-2007, he'll want to stay in the game coaching in any capacity.
"I don't think there is a finite period that you can be involved. But you have got to be producing the goods.
"People seem to have changed a wee bit over the last five or six years. There is a realisation that you can't burn coaches and put sole responsibility on people for failures. Sometimes you just have to accept failure and move on. You learn from it.
"I really don't know what I'm going to be doing. I have a passion for New Zealand and if I can stay involved at any level that would be great."
It has to be a decent bet that, come 2008, someone in New Zealand will want Wayne Smith on their team.
- HERALD ON SUNDAY
Wayne Smith. Mark Nolan / Getty Images
Given his time again, Wayne Smith might not be so hard on himself. He might have kept to himself his concerns he was no longer the right man to coach the All Blacks.
He's not sure that he would, though. He can't see that he would be doing his job
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