Leaning on the bar of The Orange Tree in Richmond, just two stops from Twickenham on the Windsor train line, Conor Bradley and Pete Bell reckoned they knew where Lions' coach Sir Clive Woodward had gone wrong.
"It rains more in New Zealand than it does in Ireland," lamented Bradley
in a lilting Irish accent as he sipped his pint of Young's Ale. "Woodward doesn't understand that Kiwis would play beach volleyball in a thunderstorm."
Bradley and Bell were among dozens of Lions' fans in red jerseys who were up early on a dreary and drizzly Saturday to crowd into the Victorian pub for the 8.10am kickoff. And they weren't happy about it.
"Why can't you Kiwis put the match on at a decent time of day?" they grumbled, forgetting their suggested 10.30am start would put their players on the pitch until almost midnight.
New Zealand ex-pats are accustomed to trekking across London to barn-sized Antipodean pubs such as The Walkabout in Shepherd's Bush for early morning sporting events. There's always an air of excitement, reminiscent of childhood and being woken for a hot milo and a middle-of-the-night rugby match beamed in from some mysterious shore.
British pubs only rarely open early for sporting events and it's a mark of the Lions tour's significance that more than 60 London pubs have obtained a special licence for the test matches. While some offer cooked breakfasts and prize draws, at The Orange Tree it's a simple affair: 5 ($13) at the door for a pint, a bacon buttie and a clear view of the game. Here, nothing gets in the way of the rugby.
At The Orange Tree, Bradley pointed out that the 13 English players in Woodward's controversial 22-man lineup, more than half, were used to training in a merely damp and drizzly climate. They wouldn't have a chance in Christchurch's freezing southerlies and hail storm.
"He should have put more Welsh and Irish in the team. They know how to play with swamp underfoot," he said.
His mate Bell agreed. "The Irish practice their kicks with bars of soap."
Bell, a Londoner who lived in Wellington for several years, accepted a 20 bet with his Kiwi nephew on a 3-0 series win to the All Blacks. To keep his money, the Lions need win only one match. Bell is not optimistic.
Dave Bright, 25, from Buckinghamshire agrees. "No sane person would put money on our chances" he said.
But for this Englishman loyalty clearly comes before sanity.
"I know my 50 will be going straight to the pockets of [bookmaker] Paddy Power. Let's just call it the price of patriotism."
Bright's 50 seemed a small price for patriotism alongside the thousands shelled out by those Lions' fans shivering in the biting rain in Jade Stadium. It was, he agreed, a pretty miserable way to spend a holiday - especially with the Lions struggling to put points on the board.
According to the Welsh supporters, when it came to selecting his largely English team, Woodward must have forgotten Wales are Six Nations' Champions. England came fourth. Jonny Wilkinson's sole penalty was too little too late. When the final whistle blew, the crowd spilled silently onto the street, leaving a lone fan in a red jersey at the bar, staring disconsolately into his pint.
"It was bad enough being woken at 6am by my Kiwi flatmates doing a haka" he lamented. "How can I go home now?"
Leaning on the bar of The Orange Tree in Richmond, just two stops from Twickenham on the Windsor train line, Conor Bradley and Pete Bell reckoned they knew where Lions' coach Sir Clive Woodward had gone wrong.
"It rains more in New Zealand than it does in Ireland," lamented Bradley
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