Presumably Wallabies coach Eddie Jones has given some thought in recent weeks to how he can restore order to his flailing side.
We know Jones is a smart chap, so we must assume he has seen the biggest problem is his front five. Even if they plucked up the courage to say boo to a goose, it's unlikely said goose would feel scared enough to take flight.
Jones has a very specialised problem and needs a specialist to fix it. He needn't despair, though - there is a chap who might just be perfect for the job. That chap goes by the name of John Mitchell.
The former All Black coach has been stigmatised by one bad result in Sydney two years ago. The fact he wasn't a great one for small talk has also been used as further evidence of his coaching frailties.
But that emotional cloud has obscured fair judgement of Mitchell. Whatever his sins, real or imagined as All Black coach, he knows how to lick a pack of forwards into shape. He's also a bit smarter now after a chastening World Cup experience. He will not be so keen to offer blanket directives such as thou shalt not ruck, as he did in 2003.
As England's assistant coach between 1997-2000 he worked exclusively with the forwards. Mitchell put in place the foundations for Martin Johnson, Lawrence Dallaglio, Richard Hill and Neil Back to grow into rugby legends.
It was telling that, during the 2003 World Cup, there was not a single Englishman prepared to blot the reputation of Mitchell. It was proof of the respect the Waikato man still commanded in the English camp.
The only story to be told about Mitchell came from loose forward Joe Worsely, who recounted one of the first sessions Mitchell took after he joined London Wasps in 2000.
Mitchell wanted to use an old scrummaging machine to show the Wasps forwards how to ruck. The forwards took one look at the lack of padding on the rusty old scrum machine and refused to pack down. Mitchell berated them, told them to stand back and then smashed into the machine several times.
What it showed the Wasps forwards was that they had in their midst an incredibly single-minded and committed individual.
As they learned in the following weeks, that same individual also had an enormous technical knowledge of forward play.
And it's that knowledge and ability to reincarnate forward packs in his own image that could draw Jones to Mitchell.
As a New Zealander Mitchell can't officially be appointed but it has to be a good bet that sometime before the next World Cup, Mitchell is given a few secret sessions with the Wallaby forwards.
Jones would be mad if he didn't at least think about it. He will certainly be more inclined to utilise Mitchell if the Western Force are convincing in next season's Super 14.
But, even if the Force turn out to be more of a farce, Jones should still unleash Mitchell. Who could say that the world's biggest butterball - Matt Dunning - wouldn't benefit from some of Mitchell's tough love?
Bill Young is another who looks in desperate need of some remedial technical work. And then there is David Lyons, the Wallaby No 8 with an indefatigable capacity to disappoint. Lyons, blessed with the physique and skills to astound, seems consumed with disinterest.
Mitchell, a journeyman No 8 himself, would have no trouble impressing on Lyons the chronic shame of failing to maximise his enormous potential.
Jones, though, doesn't have the luxury of time and needs to instigate change now. Again, Mitchell could be his guiding light.
The Wallabies will play France, England, Ireland and Wales on their end-of-season tour. And just as Mitchell did with the All Blacks in 2002, Jones needs to be brave enough to leave some big names at home and give the next generation their chance. The likes of Queenslanders Greg Holmes (prop), Hugh McMeniman (lock) and Stephen Moore (hooker) look equipped for test football.
Drew Mitchell is an exciting fullback, Rocky Elsom a damaging blindside. Mark Gerrard has impressed in two Super 12 campaigns and Clyde Rathbone, Morgan Turinui and Matt Giteau could thrive if given senior responsibility.
There is strength in depth. It needs to be carefully managed and gradually phased in alongside the established core of Nathan Sharpe, Phil Waugh, George Smith, Lote Tuqiri, Stephen Larkham and, of course, George Gregan.
Gregan's critics can pan him all they like but the skipper has heard it all before. He won't be the slightest bit disturbed by the calls for his head or that his side have had a dismal season.
Gregan knows better than anyone the importance of peaking at the right time. His focus is on the 2007 World Cup and only a fool would say that he won't arrive in France in prime form.
Those who want him out need to realise there is no alternative. Chris Whitaker looks a never-will-be and Matt Henjak is as cumbersome as a wedding dress.
It would be no surprise to learn that, when Henjak infamously threw his ice at Lote Tuqiri in a South African nightclub, it took him an age to actually get down to the glass and that he was actually aiming for Wendell Sailor.
Fast-tracking youth and persevering with Gregan may mean Australia losing more games in the short term.
Jones will take flak for that but no one will remember a few Tri Nations defeats if the Wallabies are serious contenders for the 2007 World Cup.
- HERALD ON SUNDAY
May the force be with you
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