When Irish halfback Peter Stringer gets introspective he feels content. There have been disappointments, like missing selection for last year's Lions tour to New Zealand, but Stringer has used those setbacks to build on a 66-test career which dates back to 2000.
In an ideal rugby world, Stringer would have made several Lions tours, taken Ireland to a World Cup triumph and probably been an undefeated captain of his national team.
But the 28-year-old Munsterman is more accepting of himself and what he has achieved than dealing with the what-ifs of life as a professional sportsman.
This season he has been part of two special occasions as Ireland beat England at Twickenham to take the Triple Crown and then when he scored the vital try as Munster beat Biarritz to annex the Heineken Cup for the first time.
"That was a relief, it did not seem real as we had been trying for such a long time to win that competition," he said.
"There was a euphoria beating England but the Heineken Cup, which is like your Super 14 - that was something else."
Would there be a third triumph for Stringer and his mates this weekend or next against the All Blacks, an historic first win against New Zealand?
"We have the confidence going for us after a good season," Stringer said. "The pack is going well and the way that Munster has dominated in Europe this year bodes well for us. It is great to have familiar guys all around you, especially on a rapid tour like this where you get thrown together and you want to make things happen.
"Where there is not a lot of preparation time, we have an advantage of knowing each other's play so well just in things like the pack and having Ronan [O'Gara] running the backs outside me."
O'Gara made his Irish debut outside Stringer in 2000 and has made two Lions trips while his diminutive halfback has been overlooked for those extra tours.
Team statistics have Stringer at 1.70m and 72kg and while he is extremely muscular, it is his lack of size which has reputedly counted against him for higher honours.
Ireland's most-capped halfback nods at that opinion and has gone past any rancour about that viewpoint. He has also moved on from missing the Lions trip last season.
"I gave myself a chance," he said. "I had thought about getting to that stage for a few years, it was a dream goal but I never made it.
"However, since then I feel that I have upped my game and I wanted to prove to myself that I am capable of playing against and competing against guys at the highest level.
"I am not too worried about what others, the media, the press, say about me. I have been basically proving things to myself, I am enjoying my rugby and I am not worrying about other things."
Stringer was certain that the Irish players who were also in New Zealand with the Lions, men such as captain Brian O'Driscoll, Paul O'Connell, Donncha O'Callaghan, John Hayes, Shane Horgan, O'Gara and Co, were relishing the chance to put right the wrongs of that trip.
"It is like me. If I play poorly, I just want to get back on the pitch to prove myself. You just have to look in the mirror and say you did everything you could on the day."
In a sport which is getting more physical, Stringer has been remarkably resilient. Like another man of small stature, George Gregan, he has endured.
He suggests a combination of fitness, fortune and good packs in front of him have helped his survival.
"Any halfback behind a beaten pack does not look too good and the Munster and Irish packs have been a powerful influence for me," he said.
"As a halfback our game is based on quick ball which is obviously down to the all-important first area of contact. New Zealand and especially McCaw are very good in that area but we have picked a pack which is very unified to combat that. It is a difficult challenge but we are up for it."
The Munster spirit was special, it was the soul of their rugby and something the Irish were trying to replicate.
When Munster flew back from their Heineken Cup triumph in Cardiff last month, there was pandemonium at the airport and in Limerick. It was bedlam but no different, Stringer explained, from the support the team got in 2000 when they lost the final to Northampton.
The side returned home in the early hours that year but there was the same crowd size at the airport.
"It shows the calibre of our supporters and a test win in New Zealand would add to that sort of momentum which has been building this season. Goodness knows what sort of reaction there would be back home if we could get our first win against the All Blacks."
Little big man Stringer has Irish fighting spirit
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