Thirteen years after debuting for the All Blacks, Jerome Kaino is beginning to emerge from the darkest period of his life in the public glare.
Kaino first appeared for the All Blacks in 2004 against Barbarians at Twickenham. This week, he will face the same opposition, at the same venue, but in very different circumstances.
Back then he was the wide-eyed new kid on the block, whistled up from the Auckland provincial team to score a memorable try after running around Matt Rogers in an All Blacks team captained by now Highlanders coach Aaron Mauger.
Kaino has since featured in 81 tests; played superbly in the vast majority and achieved great feats, including two World Cup crowns, in a distinguished career.
Now, though, the 34-year-old veteran is fighting for his international rugby future.
Kaino hasn't featured for the All Blacks in three-and-a-half-months, since the British and Irish Lions series, after revelations from Sydney media of an affair with a former Australian model. That swiftly put rugby on the backburner, and saw Kaino fly home in the build-up to the opening Bledisloe Cup test in August.
Kaino has since worked hard to mend bridges, and once he rejoined the team when all parties agreed the timing was right given his all to help develop successors Liam Squire and Vaea Fifita.
But he admits sitting out the last seven tests has been the toughest time in his life as a professional athlete.
"Yeah I'd say so, but the team and coaches have been great in creating a positive distraction away from that," Kaino said. "They've been helpful and supportive in that time. I'm still working through a lot of things but for me it's focusing on footy this week.
"It has been tough but I've been able to deal with that away from footy and the team. The rugby union has been great throughout that time. It's going to take a lot of time but I've been able to use rugby as an escape to focus on something else when I'm away from that. It's an on-going process."
During his extended time on the outer, Kaino blocked out any thoughts that his All Blacks career could be in jeopardy as Squire and Fifita both stepped up to grab their chance.
"I didn't think too much of it obviously with a lot of things outside footy I've been focused on. That natural progression to start thinking about the future was always going to happen.
"I wouldn't say frustrating but I would've loved a little more rugby and to be involved more. It is what it is. For me to still be involved and around the group has been encouraging - just to be able to train and be in touch that's driven me a lot."
Despite his experience, Kaino has been forced to bide his time and earn his way back.
"We've made it tough for him because it hasn't been easy to get back in but his attitude has been outstanding," assistant coach Ian Foster said. "He's got a bounce in his step and he's pretty keen to play soon."
This week, when he is expected to start at No 8 in Kieran Read's absence against the Baabaas - Fifita potentially in Kaino's favoured No 6 jersey- represents a chance to take a step forward, and a chance to prove he should feature in future plans.
"I still feel I've got a lot of footy left in me. I'm still driven to work hard every day and fight for a position but also if not involved, which I haven't been in the last few weeks, I've managed to refocus my time and energy into preparing the guys that do run out.
"The possibility of being involved this weekend is extra special for me."
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