KEY POINTS:
Spike Milligan maybe said it best. "When I die," offered Milligan, "I'd like to go to Heaven - unless Jeffrey Archer is there, in which case I'd like to go to Lewisham."
A few All Blacks and All Black hopefuls whose selection hopes have died may be thinking of Lewisham (or nearby places where they pay you for playing rugby) after the announcement of today's All Black squad. It is already promoting the latest rush of senior rugby players to the big pay cheques and "lifestyle" of Europe. The build-up was also one of the strangest happenings in an already strange era under coach Graham Henry.
The curious "Well, we wouldn't have picked him anyway" rejection of Jerry Collins plus the supposedly offhand treatment of some others who thought they were in the All Black frame took some of us back to the 1960s and 70s. Those were the days when you knew you'd been dropped from the All Blacks when your Mum turned up on your doorstep with a quivering lip, carrying a fruit cake, your old teddy bear and a busted transistor radio.
Communication, in those days, meant looking the other way if anyone caught your eye and many an All Black knew he'd become an 'ex' because of a meaningful silence.
So is this the same All Black management who gave us "better people make better players" and a broadened player leadership group taking responsibility and ruling by the force of peers?
Henry's rather churlish dismissal of Collins made it seem as though the stampede to the Northern Hemisphere is taking its toll on our senior selectors.
"He wouldn't have got in the All Blacks in this first selection anyway," Henry said. "His form had wavered and he'd be the first guy to agree with that."
At this stage it's worth pointing out that Henry is right about Collins' form. After all, a wise, canny selector chose his Super 14 form XV in last week's Herald on Sunday - and Collins wasn't in that team either. But there's a big difference between a form team and selecting an All Black team and if this visionary selector (oh, all right... it was me... ) was choosing an All Black team, Collins would be in it and I'd be freshening him up and telling him to go chew on some Irish bone.
Rugby and many sports have a fine tradition of words like: "Jerry has been a fine servant of Wellington, Super 14 and All Black rugby. We are sorry to see him go but we understand his needs right now and we wish him all the best."
We all recognise the essential emptiness of the words but they at least allow some dignity on both sides and mask the reality of what is being thought: " Early release, eh? I'll give him bloody early release..."
Then there's the Masoe episode - where Hurricanes loose forward Chris Masoe was so incensed at being left a voicemail that he could now affix the prefix 'ex' to his status as an All Black that he told the Guardian newspaper he was waiting for offers.
Masoe may need to harden up. Being dropped by people you thought had your best interests at heart is, sadly, an integral part of sport. But he also has a point.
When the "better people make better players brigade" withdraw their interest, you'd expect advice on re-selection and some soothing words. Not the likes of: "Well, the rules have changed so he's about as much use as an ice cream telephone".
To be fair to Henry and co, Masoe was one of the luckier All Blacks to be at the World Cup last year, in the opinion of this writer and Herald on Sunday columnist Richard Loe, to name but two.
But maybe other factors are at play. Collins made it known last year he was not a big fan of Henry's rotation and other r-words. He wanted to play and, when asked before the semifinal whether he felt the All Black preparation was right, he said: "If we win, the build-up was right. If we don't, it was wrong."
Maybe such things did not always sit well with those who were selecting him then. Certainly many people, rightly or wrongly, have perceived Henry's comments as the last chance the headmaster had to cane the pupil before he left to get a job.
But the worst thing was the interview Radio Sport's Tony Veitch did with Henry when the coach assured everyone they would be selecting their best team. They always did, Henry said, using that tone that suggests that the interviewer has just asked him a question of such colossal stupidity he should at once stab himself in the eye with his pen.
But is it the best team? Is there a better blindside flanker than Jerry Collins, restored to his best, in this squad? Shouldn't Nick Evans be there?
Do we make convenient adjustments for some and not others? Dan Carter and the often-rumoured-to-be-off Greg Somerville come to mind (good props are in short supply again).
Rugby has taken some fair old lumps in the past year or two and it's only been weeks since the World Cup review landed with a thump on our desks, proclaiming that we placed too much importance on the World Cup.
But here we go again - rotating and revolving and replacing and selecting for the future. Fans couldn't be blamed if they just rotated off somewhere else to do something more interesting than have the same old cod liver oil tipped down their collective throats.
