KEY POINTS:
Graham Henry has given us the best laugh of the new rugby season and, of course, it hasn't even started yet.
In an interview with the New Zealand Herald's Wynne Gray, Henry talked about how he thought he'd lost his job last year and how he had "outstanding" public support. But when it came to the media, he didn't feel quite so supported.
"I thought most of the media lacked balance and were quite vindictive," says Henry. "It got quite personal and, as I say, I did not read it, I did not watch it, I did not listen to it - but I was told and I was disappointed about that. I thought they were over the top, and it was just great the New Zealand public made up their own mind.
"In the main, I don't believe the media reflected public opinion; they tried to sway public opinion. They tried to be kingmakers and kingbreakers."
The rest of the piece revealed that the old Henry strategies of rehabilitation and rotation will continue - although Henry will likely not use the word 'rotation' as "it is a swear word for New Zealand rugby. It doesn't help the game."
But that's not the funny bit - even though my mind turned briefly to what NZRU euphemism we might instead use to describe rotation: maybe something like "two-directional player preference" or "strategic selection" or maybe even "Overuse Syndrome Absence Leave".
No, the funny bit was Henry's insistence that he didn't read, watch nor listen to the tide of criticism that mounted after the Rugby World Cup loss. Instead, other people told him what was being said.
Let's examine the logic of this. Very smart All Black coach chooses not to take in what the media are saying. Instead he relies on trusted confidants whispering in his ear. Hmmm.
Many of you will remember the old schoolyard/birthday party game Chinese Whispers - where you line up a dozen or so kids and whisper a message in the ear of the first and ask that it be passed on in secret. You might start off with the message: "Let's all go to the fair". Human error being what it is, the message gets garbled in transition and might spill out of the mouth of kid No 12 as: "Lettie hasn't got underwear."
There is just one question re this tosh about not reading, watching listening etc. If Graham Henry thinks the media is so unimportant, why give an interview to Gray?
That writer publicly called for Robbie Deans to be the next All Black coach. So did this one. But kingmakers? Naaaah.
It's an opinion, you see. And it did reflect what some of the population were thinking, even if the whispers in dear old Graham's ear didn't transmit that.
It was also what I believed. But if I thought for one moment that you lot out there were hanging on my every word and would immediately do everything I suggest, I'd not only be banging on the boss's door for a pay rise (fat chance... ), I'd also be ringing Hillary Clinton and offering big bucks advice on how she might become next President.
It's a funny thing but the great New Zealand rugby and sporting public have highly developed bullshit detectors.
Henry dissing the media while making goo-goo eyes at "the public" is an old ploy, last used by Rob Muldoon - the feisty and since discredited politician who made an art form of cultivating the public by taking the media on and positioning himself as "the people's choice".
Muldoon made out he didn't read, watch or listen to views that did not coincide with his own. He would also pretend he didn't know who you were when you interviewed him - a fine way to put an unprepared media person off balance; as was his body language and facial expression which tended to suggest to the interviewer that his subject thought the interviewer was a moron but was humouring him. Now think of Henry. Does any of this sound familiar?
Henry is well aware of the power of the media and of the art of turning that power to work for him. Little tricks like those create a subtle imbalance between interviewee and interviewer. Being told the subject doesn't read what you write is a gentle put-down; an indication that only one of the two of you really matters; a little power game.
Gray, in his interview with Henry, didn't mention in print the two columns he wrote - the first calling for Deans to be the coach and the next berating the NZRU for taking "the soft option". Probably feels it's time to move on; to re-establish relations with the boss.
But Henry also needs to move on. While he is plainly sticking to most of the 'strategies' that resulted in the All Blacks' worst World Cup result ever, best communications practice might suggest he maybe needs to keep quiet on all that stuff now; to let the players and results do the talking. Difficult, admittedly, when journalists are asking for comment.
Even then full redemption will come only if the All Blacks win the World Cup in 2011 - and maybe even then it will be tarnished, as the first thing cynics will say is the All Blacks can't win it away from home.
So I take it back. Wasn't funny at all, really.
