Chris Rattue: Semifinal coaches can realise ambitions

Colin Cooper and Ian Foster have a chance to prove themselves as future contenders for the All Blacks coaching job. Cartoon / Rod Emmerson

Coaches Colin Cooper and Ian Foster are almost the last men standing when it comes to the All Black match-ups in Friday night's Super 14 battle of the bridesmaids in Hamilton.

And if either holds a burning ambition to coach the All Blacks one day, this mate-against-mate stoush is one of those key moments in careers when a serious move needs to be made.

The more tantalising semifinal for many neutral observers is in Pretoria, where the fires of All Black-Springbok rivalry will be stoked in the magnificent Loftus Versfeld cauldron.

Even for those of us who sometimes tire of this erratic semi-global competition because of its wee-hours' contests and barely distinguishable overseas teams, the Pretoria match is one to savour.

The Crusaders always put their best foot forward. The Bulls - unlike other South African sides - have built a strong identity around characters such as Victor Matfield, Bakkies Botha and Fourie du Preez, aided by fans who bay for blood in an intimidating stadium.

This semifinal is a stirring proposition, thanks in part to rugby's greatest test rivalry.

Unfortunately, the test match matchups have been dropping like flies in the semifinal at Hamilton.

Rising prop Ben May's injury has robbed him of a chance to pack down against All Blacks Neemia Tialata and John Schwalger, the Brendon Leonard-Piri Weepu clash is a non-starter on perhaps both fronts, while Richard Kahui is supposedly in doubt for a rematch with Conrad Smith and comparisons will carry the injury proviso should Kahui play and be outplayed.

There are possibilities on the wing and a couple of mildly interesting duels at lock, but other high-profile contests are null and void.

If the All Black selectors favour Mils Muliaina at fullback, rather than centre, the plucky and elusive Cory Jane hasn't got a chance.

They'll build a Graham Henry statue in Cathedral Square before Sione Lauaki rates as a better loose forward than Rodney So'oialo - Lauaki is the ultimate front-foot bully whose standing-start lethargy should consign him to the test scrap heap. You just can't stop the magnificent lionheart So'oialo, while in stark contrast, Lauaki looks like he's trying to extricate his feet from the sort of mud that used to cling to rugby in the days that Waikato Stadium was called Rugby Park.

There will be a decent slugging contest between Andrew Hore and Aled de Malmanche that, because of the other defections, has risen from the undercard to being a main event. It's a tantalising bout, because it will pit two old-fashioned muscle men who can barely find a comb, let alone a tube of gel, against each other. These hayseed hookers are throwbacks in an age of preening stars with mysterious hand signals to the crowd and above.

The major problem for de Malmanche is that he gets into serious difficulty throwing the ball any further than his wild-haired drip line. His lineout woes might be a result of having only average targets and it would be interesting to see if his wobbly darts found rudders if they were aimed at Ali Williams and co.

This is not to suggest that Hore and Keven Mealamu are about to be deposed, but de Malmanche is a tempting proposition and a big semifinal from the hooker in a depleted front row would get tongues wagging.

Liam Messam versus Victor Vito could be a fascinating clash between two new-style, multi-skilled loose forwards from stellar sevens backgrounds, although whether it has immediate All Black connotations for Vito is another matter.

Which leaves us with coaches Cooper and Foster, who have been joined at the hip guiding the Junior All Blacks.

The coaching looking glass is so half empty in this country and the New Zealand Rugby Union's jobs-for-the-boys' succession plan so evident that Graham Henry's deputy Steve Hansen, who has scant success on his head coaching CV, is often touted as the man next in line for the All Black job.

God knows why, but he is.

Other candidates are spread far and wide. They should include Robbie Deans, but even the Shortland Street script writers would have trouble working out a storyline that got him into the job. Warren Gatland would be a front runner if not still tied to the Welsh job, but Gatland never seemed a good fit with the current administration when he did return home. If John Plumtree can advance on his up-down year with the Sharks, he might be a prospect but is only an outside one at this point.

The steady ship Todd Blackadder might even be steaming into view.

On the home front for now, it's down to NZRU favourites Cooper and Foster. Neither has made anything close to a compelling case, although compelling cases aren't all that necessary in the NZRU corridors of power.

Cooper is ahead at this point, but both men need a title in the pocket to push their case.

Cooper's Hurricanes always fall at or before the final hurdle, while Foster doesn't usually get that far and the Chiefs hardly qualify as bridesmaids. There is a fair bit of water still to flow under the bridge but Friday night's winner will be going in the right direction, while the loser - especially if it is Foster - is fighting upstream.

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Are the Chiefs bluffing or has Richard Kahui's recovery from a calf injury really stalled? The Chiefs' hopes of winning Friday night's semifinal will be severely dented if Kahui doesn't play. Injury stories before big matches are a cause for suspicion.

At the time of writing, the Crusaders had yet to confirm whether Brad Thorn was fit enough for the semifinal at Loftus Versfeld. It will be very surprising if Thorn doesn't play but the Crusaders' chances will plummet if he doesn't line up against big bad Bakkies Botha and co.

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Great news Blues fans - a weekly magazine is running a cover story about wonder winger Joe Rokocoko having a baby. Yippee. My heart sings. What a season.

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Former All Black Chris Jack will play for Western Province in South Africa before returning home to the Crusaders. Tasman will be devastated. Apart from that though, it makes good sense. The money should be excellent, and a new challenge will do Jack the world of good. Returning to Tasman (or is that Canterbury?) would be a case of same old, same old.

Daniel Carter might look at life the same way when he returns from France and take the concept even further. Danno, instead of trundling back to the Crusaders, why not give the Blues a crack?

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Sonny Bill Williams ... are you watching? The Kiwis won the World Cup without your self-centred services, and now your old club the Bulldogs are staging a stunning recovery after finishing last in 2008.

Williams surrounded himself with plonkers he called managers and lost the plot last year. He not only walked out on his club mates and supporters for the sake of a rugby cash grab in France, but quit his national team in a World Cup year.

What an arrogant brat. If he has sufficient brains, Williams might note the success of the World Cup Kiwis and NRL leading Bulldogs and learn a lesson or two about what it takes to make a champion team.

Williams is unlikely to play in the NRL again, but despite the temptation to say good riddance, it would still be great to see a more mature and wiser Williams return to the competition.

Footballers as good as Williams only come along now and then. It would take a bit of humble pie chomping, but Williams could regain respect by showing he has learned to give respect to team mates and fans.

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Reader David Birrell made this observation after watching a controversial NRL match between the Bulldogs and Dragons. "... apart from the shocking no-try decision, it just confirmed for me one of the main reasons why I'm losing interest in league. The NRL seems to be right in the pocket of the TAB. Am I watching a footie game or a set of changing odds determined by how many points one colour has at any point in time during an 80-minute period? League is becoming the new ESPN poker.

"I think they're doing league a gross mis-service by making the linkage so blatant ... I find the whole thing manipulative and extremely distracting."

Spot on David. All the betting references and their attendant but insincere warnings about gambling safely are pathetic. (Surely the warnings are only there so the adverts are deemed acceptable in the first place.)

Advertising has its place but sport allows it to become far too intrusive.