Chris Rattue: Here comes Dan - ready or not

Daniel Carter is up for the job. Cartoon / Rod Emmerson

It's celebration time versus caution time.

The return of Dan Carter to the All Black squad could easily have been greeted with dancing in the streets.

But no, this is NiZulund rugby and we're not going to be fooled that easily.

Caution has filled the room. Fear has swept the streets. Panic is in the air.

"We're all doomed - our matchwinner is back. He can't be ready because rugby is way more complicated than that," goes the cry.

Wayne Smith, the All Black back coach, isn't even sure that the man he's just picked for the test squad is ready. Former All Black coaches are urging, you guessed it, caution. Bloggers and emailers can barely get their fingers out to tap the keyboards due to the wringing of their nervous hands.

Breaking the habit of a lifetime, this column has searched long and hard and found a few reasons for optimism.

First, Carter himself seems quite chirpy about it all and he certainly looked healthy at Eden Park the other night even after Paul Williams tried to knock his block off. What stands out is Carter's balance and poise, and his goal kicking looks assured. Carter has been around long enough to know what his body is capable of. And he hardly needs to rush back to secure his place - he's streets ahead of the opposition. If the man says he is ready, I'm ready to believe him.

Second, the NPC might be a few rungs below international standards, but a restored tendon doesn't actually know the difference between a provincial match and a test match. It's a tendon, not a video analyst. It will either cope or fail whatever the occasion.

Third, Canterbury coach Rob Penney has said Carter is more than ready to make the return. Penney is a down-to-earth bloke with a long-term stake in Carter's health and his view is paramount - he's the star witness. Penney is certainly a far more reliable judge of Carter's fitness than a desperate French club trying to get their money's worth out of a short-term, big-money signing as Perpignan were when they played Carter on injury.

And fourth, no matter how test rusty Carter might be, he still won't be playing as badly as Joe Rokocoko, or as half-heartedly as Ma'a Nonu, or as tiredly as Rodney So'oialo, or as absent-mindedly as Neemia Tialata, or as - most importantly - shakily as Stephen Donald. Tests are all about getting the best troops out there, digging deep, and fighting for the cause.

There's no such thing as a truly fit top-grade footballer - they are all playing with bits that are breaking or falling off. What sets the best of them apart is an ability to play through the pain and discomfort.

On the downside, the All Blacks themselves are being cautious, but aren't they always.

I'll choose to trust Penney on this one. Carter is up to the job.

Carter may not be able to turn the Blundering Blacks around on his own but his presence could go a long way towards it. A few more weeks in the NPC, a vibrant but far-less-demanding competition than top-tier tests, won't make him any more ready than right now.

If he is to reclaim his exalted position in world rugby, then there is no time like the present. The All Black supporters will be desperate to see his best form, but anything reasonably close would be good enough for now and way ahead of what Donald can produce.

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This column is an avowed fan of Robbie Deans, but his strongest supporters have to concede he can go a bit troppo in the quote department.

"If you keep going back to the trough and you can't address that habit then there is only one other way of addressing it ... that is to remove those drinking from that trough," he opined after the Wallabies' ill-disciplined loss to the Springboks at Newlands.

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The NRL's worst nightmare has happened. Greg Inglis, perhaps their biggest star, is facing charges of bashing his girlfriend. The NRL's chief executive, David Gallop, must cringe every time his phone rings. One suspects that Inglis is in danger of having his July NRL Good Guy of the Month title stripped from him, although the alleged offence is believed to have occurred in August which may save Inglis on this count. Otherwise, he is in very deep dicky doo. It wouldn't be surprising if the NRL gave up on poster boy campaigns and employee of the month-type deals given what has occurred with Brett Stewart and Inglis this year.

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Oh dear. Harlequins rugby director and former England hard man Dean Richards has had to fall on his sword after a Heineken Cup quarter-final in which a capsule of red dye was smeared on a player's face to get former All Black Nick Evans back on the field. The player heading to the blood bin, Tom Williams, just happened to have the capsule tucked into his sock. How convenient. The ruse was rumbled in part because Williams winked at teammates as he left the field, and was caught on camera. This column might suggest that Harlequins' technique was poor all round. Blood tends to trickle or stream from injuries, whereas photographs showed that Harlequins smeared the dye on Williams' face, in the way a 3-year-old attempts to ingest tomato sauce. Inquiries are continuing, and the club doctor and physio are to be asked to explain their role in this sad (hilarious) affair. Apart from leaving all of English rugby red faced, it raises the question of just what goes on at English medical schools.

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The Ashes cricket series in England should have been endlessly fascinating, yet it pales in terms of drama and quality compared to the magnificent series of 2005. It might take the great old series some time to fully emerge from the shadow of that never-to-be-forgotten contest four years ago. Still, you've got to hand it to Aussie skipper Ricky Ponting. He is a pugnacious bloke who will move heaven and earth to get his team on the front foot. This Australian team is a long way short of that country's finest, yet they are positioned to retain the Ashes and even win the series. Ponting faces a lot of criticism - usually for his tactics and demeanour - considering the way he has delivered in such a brilliant career.

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A correction. In an interview with the Ponsonby rugby captain Mark Hooper last week, I suggested the mighty Ponies had set a national record with six consecutive Auckland titles. A Takapuna stalwart quickly pointed out that from the mid-1990s, his club strung seven North Harbour titles together. Top work, Taka. Any advances on that?

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The English football premiership is upon us and Manchester United's supremo, Alex Ferguson, is into his stride, dismissing Liverpool's title chances and criticising the referee in the Community Shield match against Chelsea. Of course, Ferguson's own players are always perfect. The shield game was full of acrimony and gamesmanship, which does not augur well for the season. The Premier League is a magnificent competition, but some of the behaviour detracts from its beauty.

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Interesting stuff on Sky Sport. Sky ran a piece the other day involving Warriors captain Steve Price making a cup of tea, Price getting a pedicure, and Price getting a massage. Not quite sure what it was about, and I have to admit I couldn't bear to watch it with the sound on. For those who missed it, Price's kitchen was neat and tidy, while his tea mug was large with a lot of writing on it. But even Price's much-admired attitude, leadership, performances and omnipresence can't hide the disappointment of the current season. The Warriors have been woeful - it is, for my money, their most disappointing season ever, because it promised so much. What has been most frustrating is the lack of confidence, sharpness and rhythm on attack. Amid the gloom, I'll pick out Sam Rapira as player of the year though. There is no greater sight in league, still, than an offloading prop. And Rapira delivers proper offloads, busting through tacklers and making the ball available to runners who are presented with a gap. Rapira's strength is a rare ability to accelerate into the defensive line. I don't think the Warriors are taking enough advantage of his skills, but he shapes as the central figure in their future.

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New Zealand appears to have a late-developing triathlon star. Kate McIlroy, previously known as a fine cross country runner, steeplechaser and (world champion) mountain runner, is making waves in the multisport event. McIlroy has just won a second-level triathlon in Hungary. Some sports people have a remarkable competitive edge and McIlroy is one of those.

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Which brings us to Tiger Woods. Woods may have collapsed in the British Open, but he has roared back since by challenging for and winning titles. It's pointless trying to pick out one of his many strengths above the others, but his relentless desire for victory is boundless. The man never takes it easy and bounces back from adversity and disappointment with all the determination and energy found in the modern golf ball (which are almost human if you believe the adverts) . Tiger's not exactly a warm or charismatic figure, but his skill and competitiveness are staggering.