Chris Rattue: Glam up second five with a new name

Photos / NZH

Stephen Donald at second five-eighths ... in all honesty, are we supposed to laugh or cry?

Donald is, if you recall, the same fella who was the only first five-eighths chosen in the initial All Black squad this year - backs coach Wayne Smith said at the time that the selectors didn't want Donald to feel under threat in the No 10 jersey.

Just another weird and wonderful theory, folks.

The No 12 jersey has become an Achilles heel in the New Zealand game.

Here's one suggestion.

The position of second five-eighths needs a serious image makeover.

Second five, to use its short form, has been the poor relation for too long.

It's the LA Airport of rugby positions, a hectic mishmash of a place where people move with confused urgency and empty hearts, hoping desperately that Lady Luck ensures they reach their next destination and quick. Players must feel that second five is a transit lounge to nowhere.

Kiwi kids put posters of first fives on their wall, and the ones of second fives under their bed.

Hardly anyone seems to want to specialise at No 12, even though the career prospects are excellent through lack of competition.

First and foremost, second five needs to cut itself adrift from first five. A name change is in order.

New Zealand rugby should drop the second five and call it inside centre, like the rest of the world does.

A problem for second fives is that the job description sounds second-rate. Our second fives appear as blokes who weren't good enough for the far more authoritative roles that are suggested by the tags first and centre.

Second five-eighths is for the losers, the way the old traffic cops were people who couldn't get into the police force.

Call it inside centre, though, and it can be turned into a place of dreams.

Centre is glamorous. It's the touch of Bruce Robertson, the dash of Frank Bunce, the might of Joe Stanley and great dreads of Tana Umaga.

Drop second five for inside centre is this column's suggestion ... call it the Englebert Humperdinck factor, after a bloke named Arnold Dorsey who realised there's much to be gained with a complete change of name.

There were actually promising signs for what has become a positional poor cousin when the enigmatic Mark Nicholls was around many decades ago. And it could have all turned out so differently if the legendary George Nepia hadn't been punted from the position and turned into one of the game's outstanding fullbacks.

Fred Allen gave second five a terrific name for a while but it's been various degrees of downhill ever since, give or take the odd upswing - but even those were mainly long ago.

The rest of the world has had their Mike Gibsons and Tim Horans while we've lagged behind. And as good as some of our second five-eighths have been, Walter Little was still regarded as a flake who needed Bunce alongside, while Warwick Taylor was simply a good team man.

In many decades of All Black rugby, only big Bill Osborne seems to have made it at second five on his own.

Second five has become a place for pawns instead of grand masters. Even Aaron Mauger, as good as it gets for us, got the boot when it counted at the last World Cup.

On good days, our second five-eighths rate little more than a mention and on bad days get totally ignored. (When is the last time you saw a second five-eighths get man of the match).

Five and a half years into the Graham Henry reign, our selectors still can't find a No 12. And while they may be culpable to some degree, this is one position where history is working against them.

And this dirty-dozen business is still going on. No wonder the problems, because the No 12 jersey just hasn't been given enough respect in New Zealand rugby.

Loony South African rugby coach Peter de Villiers has absolutely nothing to worry about over referees he claims are targeting the Springboks because they are so successful. With de Villiers in charge, the world champions won't be successful for too much longer.