"It's one of those things I find quite hard. It's sad when you go to see it looks pretty bare."
Sela added: "Usually after one year they put up a gravestone but it's up to her [Nadene]. The plot belongs to her."
Presently, a simple cross inscribed with "Jonah Tali Lomu" sits above Lomu's final resting place.
The cross is partially obscured by fading silk flowers and a menagerie of ornamental birds, butterflies, fish and turtles. A Blues rugby flag is a reminder a rugby legend is buried there.
The grave at the Manukau Memorial Gardens has been the subject of a long-running rift between Nadene and Lomu's family, including his mum, Hepi.
On the first anniversary of his death last year, family members were cautioned by a cemetery staff member when a blessing was being held by a pastor.
The Herald on Sunday yesterday was shown video of the incident, with the staff member saying he was acting on a request from "the burial rights holder".
In the video, Sela replied: "The burial holder rights holder is our sister-in-law. Basically all we wanted was just to have a prayer over his grave to mark one year and she has asked us not to do it?"
The man nodded.
"She could have had the decency to tell us - we had the decency to invite her," Sela replied.
Catherine Moore, Auckland Council's manager of Auckland Cemeteries, said as it happened a year ago, it was "unable to confirm" what was said during the discussion.
"In accordance with our customer privacy policy and out of respect for our relationship with the burial rights holder, we also cannot comment on the nature of any discussions with the burial rights holder," she said.
"We also wish to respect Jonah's family, who are still grieving at the loss of a much-loved husband, father, son and brother."
Any plans for this year's anniversary were "best directed" to Lomu's family, she added.
Earlier this year Lomu's grave was visited by members of the British & Irish Lions during their tour of New Zealand.
The visit was organised by Henry Vaeoso, Lomu's friend and former personal trainer.
Seven months earlier Vaeoso and John Lomu met rugby greats, including former Lions stars Sir Martin Johnson and Jonny Wilkinson, at a London fundraising dinner for the Jonah Lomu Legacy Trust, raising money for Lomu's sons.
During the Lions tour, Sir Martin asked Vaeoso if the Lions players could pay homage.
Vaeoso said he was a bit embarrassed about Jonah's grave because "it wasn't that flash, to be honest".
"But they were just so touched - the English had really taken to Jonah. It was a memory for them they will never forget."
As well as the state of Lomu's grave, the sporting sensation's family are also heartbroken at an ongoing lack of contact with his boys.
Sela - who described Lomu as "my protector" - said she and other family had not seen Brayley or Dhryeille since "my big brother died".
"We don't even know where they live now," she said.
John added it was hard not having contact with his nephews but "we just take it as it comes".
Nadene and the boys were invited to a blessing at Lomu's grave last year, but John said they "didn't show up".
"My mum said if and when the boys want to know about their father's side of the family, we will be there for them," he said. "But Mum has more than enough grandchildren to look after."
He was surprised when the two boys appeared at a press conference recently promoting France's bid for the 2023 Rugby World Cup.
Vaeoso described the relationship between the Lomu family and Nadene as "strained".
"I feel for Jonah's family - he was very close to his mum," he said.
"Now she has been completely cut off from her grandkids. She is a very good and kind woman who doesn't want to cause any trouble. The family feel isolated but they are trying to not fight with Nadene because the boys are still their blood.
"Jonah had his ups and downs with his family but when he had children himself he went and 'fixed' things with his dad. His mum was always there no matter what happened - good or bad - and somehow Jonah made peace before he died."
Vaeoso visits his "best mate" once a week.
Nadene Lomu - who launched her cosmetics company six months ago - did not respond to requests for comment. She is understood to be holidaying in Europe.
