Chris Rattue: Union loses its head to scalpers

The roar for the mid-year Lions tour grows. And thanks to the enterprise of our fellow citizens, we've got the first scandal - 'Gatetakings-Gate'.

Ticket scalping has inspired the New Zealand Rugby Union to take on the guise of a PC Plod and threaten the "culprits" with the power of the law.

Frankly, it looks like a giant waste of NZRFU energy, and for what? It's hardly the crime of the century, or a crime at all in most eyes.

A simple equation reveals the magnitude of the NZRFU's task in tracking down these "villains".

Take 25,000 touring fans, subtract the 10,000 tickets allocated to Britain for each test, and hey presto - deals will be done. Not to mention local demand.

Rattue's prediction: Citizens plenty, Chris Moller and co. nil.

This would appear to be a victimless crime. The pressure for tickets comes from rugby-mad folk. The sellers are ordinary citizens who have struck a bit of luck in the ballot.

A work colleague revealed he would pay thousands for a couple of test tickets. Shock, horror. Not really. It was no more than what he would spend on a holiday, he reckoned.

On the other side of the coin is an acquaintance who scored two Christchurch test tickets in the ballot but told me he would sell if he struck it lucky again.

Ticket scalping is the stuff of sports yarns.

Shortly after I arrived in London years ago, a scalper outside White Hart Lane convinced me the stadium was sold out, when (of course) the stands had more gaps than the Tottenham Hotspur defence, which was saying something at the time. But we got great seats, and lived to tell the tale.

For a story with a twist, how about this one: A friend was in St Louis to witness Mark McGwire hitting the home run which equalled Roger Maris' season record of 61, during the famous slugging battle with Sammy Sosa in 1998.

This friend's sister obtained US$6 bleacher tickets for US$160 each from her "broker", as the McGwire-Sosa drama built.

Outside Busch Stadium they were offered US$500 a ticket by fans. After the historic game they were offered US$250 for each ticket stub. It shows what sports hysteria can do in the market. My friend kept the memento while his sister took the money, as they ruefully recalled seeing hundreds of stubs on the ground inside the stadium.

That's the real world, and frankly it's difficult having any sympathy for the union since rugby has dived headlong into cash-grab mode.

Every square centimetre is up for sale, whether on the once-sacred fields, jerseys, or stadiums. News Ltd's money rules.

Test matches were priced out of many budgets long ago. Player loyalties are often with the dollar, pound, euro or yen.

So you can hardly blame Joe or Jane Supporter for following these rolls of cash models and turning this lottery into a prize.

But at least the rugby union is playing its part in the drama as the urban legends grow about the tricks of the trade as sellers try to escape the risk of prosecution.

The latest story to reach this desk: A bloke in Christchurch is selling his used thongs for $1500, with two free test tickets thrown in. It's a "jandal scandal".

Not everyone is leaping in for the kill, or the tickets. A former All Black told me he'd declined the opportunity to buy two tickets, partly because he found the tone of the NZRFU's letter to him annoying.

It contained a "kid glove warning", he said, about hawking tickets. Mustering up some old skills, he hurled the letter in the bin.

Surely a far more welcoming letter might have been appropriate for men who played the game for next to nix, and laid the foundations for modern players, administrators and sponsors to prosper. Some free seats perhaps for our old heroes?

Not likely. The scalpers and the union are probably at one on this. When it comes to making money, neither lets a chance go by.