Chris Rattue: To England, where the excuses are primed

The England rugby team at Eden Park in June. Photo / Brett Phibbs

Looks like that poor little English rugby team is already running up the white flag or at least a distress signal. In other words, one con job over, and on to the next one.

The rugby test in Chicago was a joke of a sporting contest dressed up as a bold and glorious parade through a vibrant, new rugby territory. Rugby has actually been played in America for yonks and - quite understandably - the Yanks, led by loose forward Todd Clever, are still fairly useless at a game few of them play or take seriously.

But if that was the best they could do, in the so-called biggest rugby occasion EVER on home soil, then US rugby might actually be going backwards. Sure, Americans know about rugby and the All Blacks but the rugby PR machine was the only true winner with that over-excited "American rugby is on the rise" nonsense. I recall top rugby figures saying the giant was awakening 15 years ago, and they'll be saying the same thing in 15 years time.

An enormous All Blacks squad has moved on to Britain where more claptrap awaits. The All Blacks trundle north every year and hardly ever lose. Now and then there is a terrific contest - the nail-biter against Ireland last year was sport at its amazing best - but there have been many blowouts.

Northern Hemisphere rugby does have things going for it, particularly the stirring atmospheres generated at impressive stadiums.

Those fans have a love for the game and the big occasion. Unlike us, they get into rugby contests rather than sweating in near silence on the result.

However, the combined and individual records of England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales (and the Lions for that matter) against New Zealand is pathetic, abysmal. England in particular have no excuses for this - they have resources that most of the rugby world can only dream of yet they still play the plucky underdog card against the might of the All Blacks.

This is encouraged by compliant press coverage that lacks the cutting analysis applied to England's football team, which actually faces far stiffer opposition in the world game than their under-achieving rugby mob does in a niche international sport of a few haves and many have-nots. England should kick arse in international rugby, including in the Six Nations, but they don't.

The build-up has consistently mentioned England's injury list, a convenient excuse should they lose. Prediction: England will be beaten then portrayed as gallant losers.

There on one count

Speaking of atmospheres ... the scenes at many A-league games are amazing. Shut the eyes, and you could be fooled into believing they are at major European venues. Such was the case when the Wellington Phoenix were well beaten by the Melbourne Victory at AAMI Park. Open the eyes, and the A-league is exposed. The standard is well below the major leagues, but it does produce decent entertainment. The Phoenix are still trying to join the party under Ernie Merrick's stylish approach but struggled to play the ball out of defence and posed little threat against the Victory.

Go Toa Samoa

International league is short of its heyday but the Four Nations has been superb thanks in part to a Samoan team giving the big boys a run for their money. I hope Toa Samoa aren't overwhelmed by Australia's reputation in Wollongong this weekend, although something tells me they will be even though the Kangaroos are vulnerable. If Sam Burgess was in the English line-up, I'd back them to take it out. Make no mistake - Burgess is among the greatest league players of all time even though his career has been prematurely ended by a code switch.

Get Ryder on board

Get Jesse Ryder back in the top New Zealand cricket side, and pronto. He may still cause the odd problem but if alcoholism is indeed his cross to bear, then Ryder is a sick bloke, not a bad bloke. Ryder is also one of the finest cricket talents we've had, and damn good to watch. New Zealand would be mad to go into next year's World Cup without him. New Zealand Cricket knows this, and they know the enormous gains that await the sport if Brendon McCullum's side gives the title a decent shake. Ryder's selection in the New Zealand A squad is an encouraging sign.

Bouquet for Williams

Major winner Adam Scott's unequivocal praise of the retiring Steve Williams is further evidence that those of us who once doubted the super caddy's influence over his bosses, including Tiger Woods, got it wrong. Williams deserves to be recognised as a true legend of golf and New Zealand sport.