Steve is in hiding in Whangarei ahead of the Lions tour, and he's got the munchies for a very particular reason.
"Fingers crossed" one headline reckoned, over the health of All Blacks ace Beauden Barrett.
Why bother with the finger-crossing hocus pocus? There is something practical which can preserve Barrett for the Lions series. KEEP HIM ON THE SIDELINES.
The Hurricanes would also be bonkers to risk tearaway test loosie Ardie Savea, who like Barrett must pass concussion tests.
I can't believe the Hurricanes were/are considering playing Barrett against the under-threat, non-threatening Force in Perth this weekend, or that New Zealand Rugby would even let them. Surely Steve Hansen has given Hurricanes coach Chris Boyd some friendly advice on this score.
Having turned the whole of New Zealand rugby over to producing the All Blacks, why take any risk with Barrett, who will tear the Lions apart if given half a chance.
Okay, the doctors couldn't differentiate whether Barrett was suffering concussion-related headaches, or normal rugby headaches. Why increase the risk? The Lions series is everything for now whereas Super Rugby has been turned into a trinket.
Further still, the smart move would be to protect other key All Blacks before they line up in the first test against the Lions on June 24. In other words, yank them out of Super Rugby and the Lions warm up games.
There are blokes the All Blacks can't afford to lose, as they found out in Chicago last year. My list of essentials would include Owen Franks - the pack cornerstone who doesn't get the adulation he deserves - Codie Taylor, Brodie Retallick, Sam Whitelock, Barrett, Aaron Smith, TJ Perenara and Ben Smith.
Twenty years ago, 15 years ago, maybe even 10 years ago, I'd be on the opposite side of this argument. But Super Rugby is a joke as it stands, and certainly not worth risking the men who will make all the difference against the British and Irish and New Zealand (sorry self-proclaimed 'Irish' Jared Payne) Lions.
With Dane Coles in concussion limbo-land, the improving Taylor is now absolutely vital at hooker. Take Coles and Taylor out of the equation, and you might be left with Nathan Harris, who is so injury-prone he could rip a hamstring while mowing the lawn. Actually, he could probably rip a hamstring just thinking about the lawn mower.
Halfbacks Aaron Smith and Perenara are essential to how the All Blacks play. Retallick and Whitelock may be the finest lock pairing in rugby history. The Lions will only have a chance against the All Blacks' scrum if Franks isn't there. There are other great outside back possibilities, but none in the Ben Smith class and he's already had a concussion issue this year.
Hardly a week goes by when an All Black or two don't come under the increasingly concerning concussion cloud, not to mention the other injury possibilities. Play the percentages, men.
RUSSELL COUTTS AND THE ART OF FOILING
Russell Coutts has created a brilliant America's Cup in Bermuda, delivering another blow to all the Coutts-haters. The man is not only a brilliant sailor and team leader, he has played a huge part saving the sport he loves from the obscurity it was slowly tacking and gybing towards.
Bermuda has proved to be a superb location. Race delays will be relatively rare in the Bermuda climate, which also provides the variable conditions to continually test the range of designers, boats and crews. The setting is gorgeous and technically superb, providing great TV action.
Coutts has pulled the odd dodgy move in rigging the points system in his favour. But this is the wacky America's Cup, not the Olympics. The America's Cup is what it is because of the madcap, trick-pulling history. And all Coutts has created is another form of home advantage.
Such things are in the eye of the beholder - I don't hear Kiwi fans screaming about all the advantages the world's rugby powers (and particularly the All Blacks) hand themselves in relation to playing the Pacific Island teams. Remind me. How often have the All Blacks gone to Tonga?
Including Oracle in the initial challenger series has added a lot of interest and competitive heat, and the holder should have every right to go into the big races with some competitive action and development under the belt.
Coutts can take a bow. He saw the future with a regatta of short, sharp knife-edge action.
His quip about "the expectations of the Facebook generation, not The Flintstones generation" was a clever hook, and a gleaming signpost.
Yachting is at an exciting crossroads, and the Olympics may have to follow. Thanks to Team New Zealand and Coutts, the sport has been revolutionised via the combination of foiling and multi-hulls. It means sailing can attract the X-games generation, something it had no chance of doing with classes like the widely popular Lasers.
The industry is ready to jump to the future. This includes a new budget foiling boat called the WASZP, which at just under $15,000 is a little more expensive than a Laser but goes twice as quick.
There are 55 of these standardised WASZPs - which have a beginner and race mode - in New Zealand, and that will surely grow. Foiling is the future - you can even get surfboards with foils (as in the video above).
