Chris Rattue: Don't Try Nations borders on a fraud

The World Cup can't come soon enough because rugby's phoney war is an almighty bore so far.

The Tri-Nations should be called the Don't Try Nations, with leading players being rested en masse, especially by South Africa so far.

Call me old-fashioned, but that's not what major test match rugby should be about under any circumstances.

Australia were impressive in Sydney but then again, they were playing rugby midgets in the South African backline. You will see bigger backlines in Auckland secondary school teams.

The Springboks would not only lose the World Cup with that mob, they'd lose the Currie Cup as well. Their coach, Peter de Villiers, must think he's in That '70s Show, or else he's desperately trying to throw his World Cup opponents off track.

The Springbok backline that started against Australia averaged well under 90kg and there were no substantial reinforcements on the bench.

They were road kill in waiting, and if that unit lines up against Sonny Bill Williams, Ma'a Nonu, Sitiveni Sivivatu, Hosea Gear and co, they should be smashed into oblivion. Size and power do matter and Wallaby inside centre Pat McCabe, for one, had no trouble blasting limited resistance.

The Tri-Nations is not a particularly coherent competition at the best of times but in the World Cup year borders on being a fraud. All the fake tests do is fuel a lot of largely meaningless debate around the World Cup implications, something we've all got to indulge in because what else do you do?

Modern-day rugby is bludging off the traditions created by coaches and players of old with these cat-and-mouse antics. Those alleged Springboks who turned up in Sydney let Australia run amok.

Meanwhile, the All Blacks are set to rest a few key players against our greatest rivals on Saturday, saving energy and trying to preserve their good health for the sapping business of playing Japan and Canada in the World Cup.

Let's just hope the All Blacks and Wallabies forget all the b!@@#$ per cent^ and put out their best sides next week and that the series can end on a more genuine note in South Africa and Brisbane.

Rugby fans have been bombarded with claims about the need to rest players but that doesn't mean we have to like this dodgy business. And remember: rest and rotation is only a theory, not a proven certainty, and certainly not when used to excess.

Test rugby has come on in leaps and bounds. The speed of the game in Sydney was extraordinary. Everything from the quality of the surface, footballs and boots to the professional training and raised expectations have improved the game many notches.

Watching Quade Cooper, Will Genia, Digby Ioane and Kurtley Beale do their stuff was an absolute joy. In the end, though, who really cares because the contest was a dud and deliberately so because South Africa left behind about 20 players, some injured but others resting.

Not all of the blame lies with coaches - the seasons are far too long, encouraging selection subterfuge to become an accepted part of the international game. But there was no need for South Africa to take such a drastic approach at this point, one which has robbed the fans of genuine contests and put their campaign on the back foot.

Looking at that lightweight Springbok backline, you might believe that de Villiers doesn't understand modern rugby's rules of engagement. The sad thing is that, in a wider sense, he probably does.

* Steve Williams told serial philanderer Tiger Woods he would have to earn back his respect. Just over a year later, Williams was shocked to be dumped as Tiger's caddy.

When the hired help gets uppity, what do you expect? Whatever anyone thinks about the rights and wrongs of Tiger's life, there isn't a lot of future in a golfer-caddy relationship in which the boss has been told he needs to win back the respect of the employee, friendship or no friendship.

The relationship was headed for the rocks the moment Williams started laying down the law. Caddies often get fired when golfers' careers hit the skids. Knowing what we now know about Williams' high-and-mighty position on Tiger's behaviour, fair to suggest they should have severed the relationship there and then.

* A sad day, for an old radiohead, to learn about the passing of Geoff Sinclair. With the late Tim Bickerstaff, Sinclair formed the finest radio double act this country has produced.

Their SportsTalk show was compulsory listening during my 1970s schooldays. This was a golden period for radio, as private companies changed the air waves thanks to deregulation.

Radio was no longer dominated by stations with East Berlin-style call signs, although the national service was still essential to the overall quality. As I remember events, Sinclair was supposed to be the bad cop and Bickerstaff the good when they first went to air, but the roles were immediately reversed at Bickerstaff's instigation.

They made a wonderful chalk-and-cheese team, full of humour and irreverence. These were stellar days for Auckland radio, which was stocked with characters such as innovator and educator Gordon Dryden, music men Kevin Black and Barry Jenkin, plus outstanding sports commentators Des White and Alan Richards.

There has never been a pairing to match the warm, working-class Sinclair and controversial stirrer Bickerstaff. Their notables included introducing the Mad Butcher, Peter Leitch, to the city, and guests included a funny and (I presume) fake caller named Raj of Bombay, who provoked much debate about his legitimacy. Sinclair and Bickerstaff not only understood what made Auckland sport tick, they helped make it tick.

There were yarns aplenty, enough of them true, and a penchant for poking those in power with a big stick. Schoolteacher Sinclair went on to a fine radio career. He was a great radio man of warmth, humour and humility.

It sounded as if all he had to do was be himself - there is an art to that in itself - and his personality and life experience would then shine through. For a few hours on week nights during the 1970s, Geoff Sinclair and Tim Bickerstaff were my world.

* From the wonderful world of slow living ... a Mediterranean restaurant owner told a Herald colleague he will delay expanding his central city eatery until after the World Cup.

"Too busy, too much work," he said, or something to that effect, when quizzed as to why his restaurant wouldn't catch a ride on the rugby gravy train. Way to live.