KEY POINTS:
Britain broken so they reckon. The financial crises has flushed pensions, broken dreams and put on hold forever and a day further infrastructure development.
The All Blacks probably aren't going to do much to help lift the gloom. Poor old Britain needs a boost to its ego, not a whipping from the colonial upstarts at a game the mother country was good enough to share with those Down Under.
But the Brits shouldn't despair. They are, without doubt, leading the world in the production of snacks, biscuits, general confectionary and, although this is debatable, breakfast cereal.
Starting with the last category - the British Weetabix is a far superior beast to the Kiwi Weetbix. The addition of an extra vowel in the spelling gives the British product a smoother annunciation and a rhythm that Weetbix doesn't. The iconic yellow-box packaging also gives Weetabix an authority, a gravitas, even, that Weetbix just can't match.
And when you get down to the actual biscuits, the British Weetabix is bigger, has a smoother design and holds its form far longer.
It is not easy sitting in a bowl of milk for minutes at a time and let's be honest, the Kiwi Weetbix struggles with that challenge. It's too flaky, literally, and can be a little aggressive at sucking up the milk.
The Weetabix on the other hand, holds itself together through to the last mouthful. The milk is not guzzled and even on that last bite there is still that magic to be experienced of feeling the dry crunch first before the softer, drenched part of the biscuit comes through.
The Weetabix is a quality performer and the Brits can be proud. As they can of their stunning array of confectionary. How could any nation that came up with Minstrels feel bad about itself? For those unfamiliar, Minstrels are button shaped chocolate sweets that outrageously pull off being one type of chocolate in the middle, wrapped in sugar-coated chocolate.
It shouldn't really work but it does. As does the Wispa bar, which is an invention Willy Wonka would be proud to claim. They have bubbly chocolate and crunchy chocolate in one bar - crazy, but a wonderful kind of crazy.
Wispa's were big in the 1990s and with everyone here so glum, they have come back into production for a limited time to try to cheer everyone up.
This could go on, but the last entry will be confined to Prawn Cocktail crisps. Yes, crisps not chips and while we are on this, lollies don't come in a packet they come on sticks. No stick means they are sweets.
Anyhoo, tell people that crisps tasting of shellfish is the ultimate salty snack and they might wonder. But these are magical, magical potatoes that melt in the mouth. Word to the wise, though, be sure to wash your hands after a packet.
Broken old Britain? Never. Rule Britannia.
Gregor Paul
Photo / Hawke's Bay Today
