“That was always going to be my last All Black campaign and I felt I still had some rugby in me,” Smith writes.
“It was frustrating because my family had come over to support me. They were really good but probably a bit sensitive to the fact they knew I was hurting with how some things played out.”
Smith at least got to play one last test, scoring two tries against Wales in the third-fourth playoff to finish his international career with 84 caps.
But it is not a tournament that he reflects on fondly, and he talks about the difficulty in hearing Hansen explain at a pre-Cup press conference why the Highlanders star had not been picked.
“The problem ... is he’s lost his self-belief and his confidence,” Hansen said at the time.
“Maybe that’s because of the injury, maybe it’s because everyone’s talking about him leaving and he’s got caught up in that.”
Smith said he was disappointed at those comments.
“I found it really hard that he put that out in the media. Steve hadn’t actually sat down with me and talked that through and that was an outlet he didn’t need to go to.”
Hansen reveals in the book that he has regrets over how Smith was treated and, in particular, that he was not picked for the semifinal against England.
“If I had my time again, I would have picked him.”
Hansen said, in hindsight, Smith’s experience and leadership could have been ideal for a game in which the All Blacks crumbled under English pressure.
Smith also talks in the book about his battles with concussion, and the impact it had on him and wife Katie.
He reveals he forgot after one head knock that his wife was pregnant with their third child, and recalls calling Katie from a dressing room as he was suffering dizziness - later linked to benign paroxysmal positional vertigo - that he feared would end his career.
“Ben was in tears,” Katie writes.
“I knew things were bad because he has never called me from the changing rooms before, let alone crying. He was devastated.”
Readers eager for Smith, a famously nice man, to dish the dirt on the dreadful Highlanders season in 2013 will be disappointed.
The Highlanders finished second-last with just three wins despite having recruited something of an all-star squad.
Smith limits himself to expressing disappointment a team stacked with All Blacks misfired so badly.
“We probably took it for granted that we were going to perform well because we had some high-profile players. But it didn’t turn out that way.
“It was a good demonstration for me that we had all this talent but it meant nothing if we didn’t work hard and stick to our values of keeping the team tight and working hard for each other.”
Happier times were to come just two years later when the Highlanders charged to a memorable Super Rugby title.
Smith was co-captain with Nasi Manu of the 2015 champions, and Highlanders halfback Aaron Smith recalls in the book how the leaders made a call on a trip to Argentina to break the rules in the interest of fostering team spirit.
Players had a curfew of 2am but the co-captains decided to let their teammates stay out later as they were enjoying the Buenos Aires nightlife.
“We were about to leave when the music started up,” Aaron Smith writes.
“Ben read the group and decided we should break curfew.”
Coach Jamie Joseph confronted the team the next morning, and Ben Smith confessed it had been his call.
“Jamie said that was fine provided we sweated it out in the next few days, which we did,” Aaron Smith writes.
Smith’s book is officially launched at his beloved Green Island club at 5pm today.
