Nehe Milner-Skudder joined Wellington for the 2020 NPC season. Photo / Getty Images
Nehe Milner-Skudder is approaching rugby from a new perspective.
In 2015, he exploded onto the scene at the top level as one of the country's best outside backs. Impressive performances in his first campaign with the Hurricanes in Super Rugby led to an All Blacks call-up.
He made his international debut in August that year, scoring two tries in a 27-19 loss to Australia. A month later, he was at the Rugby World Cup, and played a vital role in the All Blacks' successful campaign. He was also named World Rugby Breakthrough Player of the Year.
It was a rookie season to remember for the young back, but one he was unable to build upon as injuries took over the trajectory of his career. After earning eight test caps in 2015, he was only able to add five more before a planned departure for Toulon in late 2019.
His woes didn't end there. Fitness issues prevented his French move from eventuating. He joined the Highlanders on a two-year deal instead, before spending time this year playing for New York; he continued to play in the NPC for Manawatū during that span.
But of the most important games in his career, his one-off appearance in a centenary game for Ngāti Porou East Coast in 2021 ranks among those at the top of the list.
"It was really grounding and humbling, in terms of reminding me why I play the game and getting that enjoyment back," he tells the Herald. "It's been a roller-coaster throughout my career; some incredible highs and some pretty rough lows through injury and things like that.
"When I reflect back over the last 12 to 18 months, I've just been really blessed and am grateful for the opportunities to go and play for different teams, immerse myself in different environments, and get back to enjoying rugby. That's been the biggest thing."
That enjoyment of the game is something that hasn't been consistent for the 31-year-old in recent years.
He admits there have been times where he has doubted whether he wants to keep going, but conversations with his wife, Hanna Tevita-Milner, have always given him the reassurance he needed to continue.
Confidence in his body was often a driving factor in doubts over his future.
"My mind feels good, but it's just getting my body up to speed," he says. "I feel like over the last year I've got that confidence back in my body and getting that hunger and motivation back."
While he's proud of everything he has achieved on the pitch and the support that has come with it, he says the support he received in those darkest moments is what he is most proud of.
While recovering from injuries, he has been inundated with messages and well wishes from fellow players, and says Ardie Savea has been a rock for him in that space, as the two would often connect.
While it hasn't always been commonplace for rugby players to show vulnerability and emotion, Milner-Skudder says a noticeable shift has taken place in that area in recent years and players are becoming more comfortable sharing, while questions between teammates checking in are becoming more specific as to prompt a genuine response.
He says high-profile men such as Savea and Mike King using their platforms to spread positive messages around mental wellbeing have helped to drive that shift, showing that while social media can have a negative impact, it can also be used as a tool for good.
"There's definitely a shift happening. When someone asks 'how's things?' the generic reply is 'yeah, all good' or 'sweet as', but we're able to dive a little bit deeper and be more specific. Like, asking 'how's the head space?' when guys are injured, because it's easy to see. Take my shoulder for instance, if I'm out of a sling that's progress, but it's hard to see what's happening in your mind and how you're feeling unless you communicate it.
"I think it's about normalising those struggles and vulnerabilities, and seeing that sometimes it isn't all sunshine and rainbows, but that's all good too."
Now, following a successful campaign in Major League Rugby with New York and confident in his body, Milner-Skudder has embraced a new challenge.
The birth of his daughter Mila earlier this year prompted a move to Wellington for the NPC. While he had been playing for Manawatū in recent years, that involved commuting from his Wellington home and, as a new father, he says his time is far better spent enjoying those moments at home.
But while he is a veteran of the game entering a new set-up, Milner-Skudder made no secret of his desire to compete for game time with coach Leo Crowley, and has made three starts and is on the bench for today's match against Otago in Wellington.
The move to Wellington hasn't been a complete change of scenery, with several players and coaches in the team being people he has worked alongside in the past, while some of the younger players he got to know through training squads with the Hurricanes.
"As I am getting a lot older, I'm at that age where there's guys who when I first started playing, they were still at intermediate or even at primary school, which is quite freaky," he says.
"But it's a nice reminder of me getting a bit older. It gives me that perspective and I try to remind the boys as much as possible to just enjoy the game as much as they can and to not get caught up in the pressures. We're pretty blessed to be able to do what we do, and there are struggles that come with it, but try not to get too bogged down by it and enjoy the great things that not only rugby but life has to offer us."
It's a message Milner-Skudder embraces as much as he promotes it.
Now a father and a husband, with plenty of memorable moments in a successful career to reflect on, he counts his blessings.
In approaching the game, he does so from a place of gratitude; a place that hasn't always been the easiest for him to find in the past.
"In the past, closer to when those injuries were happening, I would think 'far out, imagine if...' but as I'm getting a little bit older, other things happening in my life have given me a bit of perspective. Although rugby has given me some amazing moments, at the end of the day it's just a game; it's just part of life and part of my journey," he says.
"I just want to sign off playing with enjoyment. I guess it's asking that question around what does that look like and how do you measure enjoyment.
"I love turning up to training, seeing all my teammates and management, going out onto the training field and just being able to express myself. I'm feeling confident in my body after a tough few years.
"I want to just be happy playing the game. Whoever that's for or whatever team that is, I'm not too fazed."
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