KEY POINTS:
All set for the big game tonight? Didn't even know there was one?
What is it?
Wha'd'ya mean, what is it? It's the NRL finals qualifier between the Warriors (us) and the Parramatta Eels (them), at Mt Smart Stadium in Auckland. It's the league, man.
What time does it start?
Kickoff is at 8.30 tonight, a later-than-usual time but that makes it 6.30pm in Sydney, and that gives the workers time to get home and get settled with a cold one in front of the telly.
And why do we care about people in Sydney?
Cos that's where Parramatta is. Well, near enough anyway.
What time do the gates open?
The ticket booths open for ticket collection at 10am, and if you don't have a ticket now, you ain't going. Gates open at 5.30pm, and you must use the correct gate for your ticket. The curtain-raiser, aka the Fox Memorial semifinal, is between Richmond and Manurewa at 6.15pm.
What to wear?
An official Warriors scarf of course, which has the advantage of being extra-long and thus serves as a knee-warmer as well. A beanie and warm jacket.
There's nowhere so cold as Mt Smart in a southerly. Wear something black. It's the fortress mentality and all that. And intimidating, hopefully. Flags and banners are to be encouraged.
What not to wear?
Face paint. Warriors fans are sufficiently secure in their passion not to need such accoutrements. Leave that to the rugby fans.
Wining and dining
The usual hotdogs and chips are available at stalls, as are beer and wine. It is perfectly acceptable to take a Thermos of tea and pre-buttered baps or bread for chip butties at half-time.
Game etiquette
Get there early. Do not leave just before the game ends. It shows a lack of commitment, annoys the other people in your seating row, and reduces the cheering volume when the Warriors triumph.
There is debate over booing when the opposition lines up for a goal. A little good-natured noise is expected. Be prepared to stand up when a Warriors player gets close to the tryline. Regular Eels supporters snapped up all 500 tickets offered on Monday. They will be sitting in a block and are fair game, probably, but be gentle with them.
Go before you go. The other people in your row will get upset when you push past for the third time, and there are usually queues at the toilets.
Helpful phrases
Smash 'im, bro (whenever anyone on their team is about to be tackled). Let 'im up (whenever anyone on our team is tackled).
Ten metres, ref (whenever we're on defence). Dee-fence, dee-fence (ditto, with emphasis on the de-).
Are ya blind, ref? (anytime, but especially when one of theirs has clearly transgressed). Whose round is it? (just to your mates).
