Jake the Muss probably summed it up best: "Too much weights, not enough speed work" after knocking out another spontaneous opponent at the pub in Once Were Warriors.
Leaving the violence aside, rugby league's Warriors have taken heed of that advice with the pre-season fitness regime employed by trainer Craig Walker - and it has paid off.
While it is a franchise secret, the specially-crafted fitness programme has earned its keep, especially in the past five weeks which have included three wins, a bye and a two-point loss to the table-topping Dragons. Such a code of silence means details are sketchy ("it involved a lot of running" and "no one touched a football pre-Christmas").
But, it works. Judging by the statistics, concentration improved in those matches, despite physical demands.
The Warriors have scored 4.9 points more per game in rounds 13-17, while conceding six points fewer a game. That has meant fewer trademark offloads and tackle breaks, resulting in slightly fewer errors and a completion rate above 70 per cent.
The Warriors' impressive line speed already had them ranked second to this week's opponents, the Panthers, for metres conceded, but that figure has reduced from 1248m to 1145m in the last four games. The Warriors have also missed fewer tackles and cut down on opponents' linebreaks and offloads.
Renowned fitness trainer Lee Parore, who has worked with Jonah Lomu, Zinzan Brooke and most recently David Tua before his Shane Cameron fight, says the team has got the right mix this season.
"I see the Warriors developing a champion team rather than a team of champions. They seem to be evolving into a unit which is tough enough to win without star players.
"That's ultimately a reflection on the coach [Ivan Cleary] because he has the final say in their training and how they prepare. It's basically about bringing the inside of the athlete out through trust as well as the team's values and beliefs.
"At an elite level, that training has to be emotional and psychological as well as just physical. Compare that to the normal person who would just get fitter or stronger at the gym.
"You've got to load athletes with thoughts and emotions so they get used to responding under pressure.
"That's where you need your leaders to take charge and others to follow because not everyone is capable of making that initial step forward."
Cleary backs Parore's theory: "The aim of having a high degree of aerobic fitness is to help players concentrate and complete more sets - so you're not defending all the time in your own territory, making mistakes and wasting the energy to fight back."
He can see the team's fitness playing a big role this week.
"The Panthers are going to require some serious physical handling. They have a big forward pack that can cause plenty of problems."
Another key area has been the rehabilitation department run by former Kiwis captain and Warrior Ruben Wiki.
"There's nothing like match fitness to recover quickest but my main job is keeping their heart rates up so they're right to get back," Wiki says. "Let's just say they don't like training with me. Everyone hates injuries but you don't join me for a holiday. The players can back me up on that. When the boys are finished, they're finished."
Patients do one-hour's training a day under Wiki - to the second, apparently - three times a week, plus two weights sessions with the regular team.
Parore says the basis behind the programme is simple. That is what they have done better than others to get an advantage.
"League is really just a series of repeated runs.
"Players need a good level of fitness, with the forwards focusing more on endurance and the backs on speed.
"The common denominator is strength but you want the backs to be faster, to make breaks and score tries out wide, whereas the forwards need to be able handle more hit-ups in their sets of six. You might have to defend two or more sets of six in succession, too, and in defence the forwards are going to do the majority of the work."
NRL: Now are Warriors - fitness regime paying dividends
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