...or at least gave it a bit of a wobble...
1. TIGER WOODS
Couldn't win a major, but more than made up for that by crashing around his posh neighbourhood in a car during the wee hours, falling asleep after the accident, and being exposed as a serial philanderer. This proved way too much for his mother-in-law, who was rushed in an ambulance from Tiger's house to hospital. About the only thing that could drag this gated Florida community any further down would be if Jesse Ryder moved in. Things got so bad for Tiger that John Daly felt able to give him some advice. You can expect Tiger to be grimacing at you from the gossip magazines for some time. When the fuss dies down, we will find out if the human golfing machine is still intact. Tiger is five short of passing Jack Nicklaus as the greatest winner of major titles, but this once-beautiful fairway is now paved with cocktail waitresses and an armed and dangerous media. This is the story with everything, if you like that sort of thing. Stay tuned.
2. THE ALL WHITES
Today Bahrain, tomorrow the world. Our first XI qualified for the World Cup finals, something we knew was vaguely possible but didn't really think would happen. Having seen off the Gulf State in a two-leg playoff, thanks to a Rory Fallon goal, the All Whites have given us a much more interesting ticket in the World Cup tournament in South Africa next year. Now we'll get to find out what state our national side is in, and whether there is a gulf between us and Italy, Paraguay and Slovakia. Just one point against that lot would prove a lot of points, and former All Whites are even predicting we could beat Slovakia. A sensational atmosphere at the game against Bahrain in Wellington was the highlight. Football continued its roll, with Auckland City beating host club Al Ahli in its opening world club championship match in the UAE and beating African champions TP Mazembe in a playoff for fifth.
3. DAVID TUA v SHANE CAMERON
Our very own heavyweight ding-dong in the Tron, and it was Cameron who ended up hearing bells in Cowtown. Having spent a couple of years goading Tua out of his corner, Cameron didn't come far enough out of his on fight night. Standing at almost the perfect distance for Tua to hit him, the former world heavyweight contender obliged, about 25 times in just over one round. With subscriber telly charging $40 for the privilege, this worked out at an economical $1.60 a throw. There are always boxing naysayers ready to put a contest down but the clash generated plenty of interest and Tua's onslaught will never be forgotten. Inevitably, there were claims that he could be a world heavyweight contender again. As for the brave Cameron, his best payday has probably been and gone in Hamilton.
4. THIERRY HENRY
The Frenchman hand-balled twice to set up the goal against the Republic of Ireland which sent his team to the World Cup finals. The sports world erupted with angry indignation and Henry's reputation was set to be mauled for months until his razorblade-advertising stablemate Tiger Woods stole the shady limelight. Henry was suitably contrite and Ireland did what anyone would do in this situation - they asked Fifa to increase the number of teams at the World Cup from 32 to 33 so they could make it to South Africa. If the World Cup proper is this much fun, it is going to be a cracking tournament. Football overlord Sepp Blatter even cracked a funny when confronted with the World Cup ball at the draw in Cape Town. "Ooh, I cannot handle the ball. It is not right to use the hands. What shall I do?" That Swiss sense of humour - it's hard to beat.
5. FORMULA ONE
Tiger Woods wasn't the only one having trouble behind the wheel. Renault admitted it had ordered Nelson Piquet jnr - who spoke out having been sacked by the team - to deliberately crash his car at the 2008 Singapore Grand Prix in a sneaky ploy to help teammate Fernando Alonso win the race. The world was outraged, although luckily it kept some in reserve for Thierry Henry and Tiger Woods later on. The leading Renault conspirators were banned. Coming from a sport in which the supremo Bernie Ecclestone described Adolf Hitler as "a man who could get things done", Crashgate was an accident waiting to happen. F1 was roundly chastised and the incident even described as the worst case of cheating in history. It got a decent run for its money in 2009 though, what with English rugby's fake blood scandal, Thierry Henry's handball, and Tiger of course.
6. Y.E. YANG
Remember those days when the worst thing that could happen to Tiger Woods would be to lose a major championship he had led into the final round? The 37-year-old South Korean Y.E. Yang's brilliant PGA championship victory over Woods in Minnesota was the upset of the year. Woods had a 14-0 record of success in majors when leading after three rounds. Yang, in just his second year on the PGA tour and with a ranking of 110, trailed Woods by two shots before the final day. He was a comparative golfing nobody who was expected to end up as another spectator to a Woods master class. But Yang, whose golfing education included a stint in New Zealand, kept his nerve and played exquisite shots to beat the world No 1. He is the first Asian-born golfer to win a major, significant as Asia is the boom region for the sport.
7. RUGBY LEAGUE
The year started tragically with the drowning of promising Warrior Sonny Fai while helping relatives in trouble at Bethells Beach. It seemed inconceivable that someone so young and strong could be lost in such circumstances, but Auckland's West Coast waters are not to be underestimated. Sadly, what followed for league was such disgraceful behaviour that a Sydney tabloid declared its back page a league-scandal free zone for a while. All manner of leading characters were involved in this shame game. The long charge sheet included violence, sexual assault, intimidatory group sex, fraud, racial abuse, drugs, a fan attack on a referee and a player knocking out a coach. It would be nice to say that about the only thing missing was a chief executive punching a female employee, but this wasn't missing. Things can only get better. Maybe.
8. SOME RUGBY
From the "be afraid, be very afraid" department. Hasn't caused much of a tremor yet, but watch this space. There was much muttering throughout the year about how dreadful rugby had become as a spectacle, with endless pile-ups and kicking and little flair to speak of. Australia, in particular, is suffering, with fans disappearing in droves. The IRB, no doubt mindful of the dour 2007 World Cup, responded late in the year by contemplating more rule changes. This is no simple matter in rugby, a sport that moves with exceptionally decent haste. On the past record, any rule changes made now will barely be bedded in for the World Cup - the 2015 tournament, that is. The trouble is that coaches and players tend to mangle rule changes to their advantage, especially on the big occasions. Better the devil you know could be the best call for now.
9. MORE RUGBY
The national championship - what can we say? Will the structure ever be resolved, let alone resolved to anyone's satisfaction? The NZRU tried to cut the size of the first division to 10 teams, the players' union wanted it cut even further, and yet the 14-team status quo remained. Despite a stream of sympathy cards for the beleaguered chief executive Steve Tew, the game is as sick as a dog. The excuse for the procrastination - collective bargaining and the threat of legal action by the unions. In other words, the union is apparently no longer in control of the game. The whole issue brought much wailing and gnashing of teeth and with good reason, especially as the provinces - the very areas under threat - are playing a starring role in the Air New Zealand Cup. All Black coach Graham Henry got it right, though, when he said the NZRU had to stick to the 10-team plan for the sake of its integrity, which is shot to pieces.
10. HIDDEN GENDER
The teenage South African runner Caster Semenya, who won the 800m gold medal at the world championships in Berlin in August, was subjected to rumour and IAAF investigation into whether she was actually a woman. The IAAF claimed they wanted to know if a rare medical condition was giving her an unfair advantage because its suspicions were raised by the athlete's build and rapid improvement in 800m and 1500m times. Semenya's treatment has been largely condemned, including the way the South African federation lied to her about tests it conducted. Reports in Australia claimed Semenya has male and female organs, but the IAAF remained tight-lipped. It is to take a wider look at the issue instead of concentrating the attention on Semenya, whose status remains unclear. A touchy subject, the sort you want to just go away.
